Love Is Love Is Love

In my years of blogging and social media, I can't tell you how many posts I've read where the writers prefaced whatever they were going to say with something akin to, "I'll lose friends/readers/followers over this but I don't care, its what I know/believe/will stick with..." I've always been a person who lacks a filter. I'm honest, sometimes brutally so and when it comes to certain things, especially things I'm passionate about, I'm in your face without regret. I don't believe I've ever written something like that before but I'm about to. 

I can, without a single second of hesitation say that because of what I'm about to share, I will lose friends/readers/followers but I cannot say that I do not care. I do care because if you find yourself irritated or disappointed at what you read and you have any thoughts of no longer having an investment in this blog of mine (or my life) then please, PLEASE walk away. I encourage questions and discussions and different opinions and insights but I have absolutely no room in my life for people who I can't take at face value. If in your mind I am any less of a person at the end of this as I am right now but you insist on not sharing that with me, again I say, please, PLEASE walk away.

It's one thing to stand up for what you believe is right and a wholly other to discriminate and say you do so for God. I believe in God. I worship God. I love God. I know God wants me to strive to be like Him, loving all and judging none. 

Love is love is love. 

Opposing LGBT Groups and same sex marriage strikes me as belonging to the same level of hate and bigotry as that regarding biracial relationships and bi-religious marriages. Hitler's ideas regarding the purity of race were/are seen as hateful, spiteful, derogatory, disgusting, and any other terrible word you can think of. To him and his followers though, they were not only inspired but 1000% justified. During the time of slavery, black people were seen as nothing more than animals and property to be sold and used and dealt with as such. The people who owned slaves and truly believed there was/is a pecking order in race also felt 1000% justified. Any decent human being would agree that Hitler and racists are people who didn't/don't deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us. 

So why, WHY is there still so much hate regarding certain people?

Hate exists and discrimination occurs because of fear. Fear of change and fear of new things and things that are different and difficult for those on the outside to understand. 

That's it. 

Fear. Not anything else. 

It has nothing to do with loyalty to or belief in God. God loves without condition and never stops. He never takes pause. I've always believed that. I'll always believe that. I've always known that but until a couple years ago I didn't truly grasp what that means to its fullest depths.

Can I tell you a secret? I used to be THAT person. The person who once voted against gay marriage. Why? I had certain ideas and beliefs drilled into my head that its what God wanted me to do. So I did. And guess what? I didn't feel like a better person. I didn't feel like I had done what God wanted me to do. I didn't get a surge of pride for doing my Christian duty to 'protect' what has become known as traditional marriage.       
A friend of mine who also happens to have a blog, wrote the BEST post/essay/article/declaration/anything I have ever read in my entire life, addressing this very thing. Traditional marriage, defending it, dissecting it, exploring it and Lovelies, its truly and perfectly flawless. She's amazing with all her facts and research and eloquent and graceful writing.  


How To Be A Sort-of-Traditional Mormon Defending Non-Traditional Marriage

Thanks Christine. 

I look back now and cringe at what I was always spouting and preaching. I really was just spewing rhetoric without a second thought. 

I was right! God only wanted boys and girls to love each other romantically! Love the sinner, hate the sin! 

Nothing could make me doubt and no one could change my mind.

I have no idea exactly when my beliefs evolved into what they are now. All I know is somewhere along the way I began to ask myself why it was so important that a man and a woman be the only people allowed to love each other freely and get married. Not just why it was important but why on Earth was it so vitally important to ME that "traditional marriage" be protected. 

I found out that it wasn't. Who was I to 'take a stand' and tell people who were no less of a child of God than I that they were wrong to love who they loved and that because they loved a little differently than me, they could not marry the love of their lives? The answer to that question is that I am no one. It's not my place nor will I ever claim that it is again.

I look at the people who surround me. My family, my friends, people I work with, people I interact with here in Blog and Social Media Land... and I am in awe. 

They are all different. 
Some are married.
Some are single.
Some are straight.
Some are gay.
Some are Christians.
Some are Atheists.
Some are boys.
Some are girls.
Some I adore.
Some I barely tolerate. 

Why am I in awe? Because I know that they belong to God just like me. They are human, just like me. They are capable of incredible things and making mistakes, just like me. They hurt and feel joy, just like me. They cry, laugh, think, live and love, just like me. 

I've thought many, many times what it would feel like to be told that I couldn't do something because of some other circumstance. 

You can't drive an SUV because you have freckles! You can't write a novel because you suck at math! You can't be married to Mr. Superman because he has blue eyes and yours are green!

Silly right?
Ridiculous and absurd?
No one would ever have the right to make any of this real!

Once upon a time women couldn't vote nor could blacks. Once upon a time it was legal for a husband to rape his wife because it was her duty to have sex with him. Once upon a time marriages were null and void if one of the parties had lost their virginity prior to being married. Once upon a time if you stepped on a crack you could fall and break your mothers back.

If it had been illegal for my Catholic Father-In-Law to marry my Mormon Mother-In-Law, I wouldn't have my incredible husband and therefore would be dead.  

Lovelies, everyone on this Earth is here because of a loving God. Each and every one of us means the same to Him and each and every one of us deserves everything this life has to offer. What do I think this entails? 

To be free to love and be loved by whomever our heart chooses because that's what it boils down to. Our hearts choose. When it comes to who our hearts choose, they beat out the rhythm God intended from the beginning. Wildly, freely, endlessly, and without discrimination or limits. 

Love is love is love.

To believe otherwise is no honor to God and attempting to justify what is nothing short of discriminatory by saying anything to the contrary makes not only a bigot but a liar also.

It's not easy being different. I am the only person within my immediate and also within the majority of my extended family that supports same sex marriage. It's tough but I know that its incomparable to what any gay person goes through. Being told you don't have control of your life and your dreams because they're 'non-traditional' is unfathomable to me.

The day that this world accepts that love is love is love is the day my heart will smile almost as big as God will be.

The Reason For The Season

This is one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

I'm Glad He Said It, But I Need To Say It Too

If you watch the news, read the newspaper, are involved on Facebook, Twitter, or have ever heard of a Mormon, you probably know all about the mudslinging and name calling one Evangelical pastor has been busy doing. Its all about the Mormon Presidential candidates and how Mormon's should not be allowed into office because we are a cult.

Anyway, if you have read my blog for any length of time, you know that I am a Mormon. You'll also know how difficult it is for me to bite my tongue about something like this. When people come out and say things that are so degrading and hurtful, I get angry and upset and all I want to do is grab them and shake them and make them understand the truth. Honestly, the absolute ignorance of people astounds me. It hurts my heart more than anything else.

There is a wonderful rebuttal article written by another Evangelist that put things into words better than I think anyone could as far as the political argument. Here are a few of my favorite excerpts. Please go read it in full. Its a great justice to not only Mormon's but to other people attacked unrighteously.

"A bigot can be an inexcusable ignoramus who does not understand a group, but insists on opining about them. Another kind of bigot insists on applying irrelevant standards to a person. This is not excusable even if the standards are relevant in a different situation...."

"...To add insult to bigotry, the pastor decided to name call by saying Mormonism is a cult. The use of cult to describe the Mormon faith is foolish and offensive in a political context.

The word cult has many meanings, including a technical religious one. The Mormon Church is not “standard” historic Christianity as Mormons point out in their witness. They think they have something new and valuable to say religiously.

Most of the public does not think doctrine, but danger when they hear the term cult. He imagines scary folk living in compounds drinking Kool-aid, not Harry Reid or Mitt Romney.

In that popular sense, Mormonism is not a cult and should scare no American. Mormons have been faithful citizens, dying in our wars for republican values. Does Rick Perry’s pastor friend acknowledge this truth? Can a Mormon die for the Republic in battle, but still not serve as commander in the White House...?

For mainstream evangelicals such bigoted attacks on Romney are an embarrassment. They often seem to rely on fear of difference, a sense that other groups are “weird.” Everybody seems weird to somebody some time, but loving people get past such feelings. If the Mormon who dies for my freedom doesn’t seem weird, neither should the Mormon politician....

Evangelical Christianity does not place all power in the state and so rejects messianic leaders. We want a president, not a prophet in office. A Mormon cannot be my priest, but he can be my political leader.

Worse is the impact of bigotry on my Mormon neighbor. It is a betrayal of the love Jesus commanded us to show. If I can love my enemy, surely I can easily love the Mormon next door. I hate the pain caused my Mormon neighbor by ignorance and bigotry.

My Mormon friends do not complain or become defensive. Like the Christ, my experience has been resignation and love when my Mormon friends see slander.

Mormons saw their first prophet murdered by an American mob, but still they loyally serve a Republic whose laws have often failed them. They created a paradise in a wilderness and great literature and a first-rate university against all odds..."

In the interview that Anderson Cooper did with this pastor where he says these things about Mormons, he kept saying, "They are not Christians. They don't believe Jesus is the way to salvation." Even when Anderson read directly from our Church's website, he kept spouting of his hate filled rhetoric which was totally false.

Did you know that in the history of the United States, the Mormon religion has been the ONLY religion that has had an extermination order put out on it? Yeah, extermination (and even though not many were killed after hostilities were resolved after our church members  moved West, it wasn't officially repealed until 1976). We are the one and only religion where it has been 100% legal to kill us for the sole purpose of being a Mormon. No other reason. No other religion. There could be no retaliation of course because they'd just kill you for that. Countless people got taken out of their homes and got tarred and feathered, houses burned down, put in prison, driven out of state after state after state.... That's why most of us ended up on the West Coast :) Anyway, its just interesting that he kept bringing up the history of our religion in his interview and what values make up a Christian and yet, the name calling and the holier than thou attitude that guy has going on, is one of the most un-Christlike things that's been said and done in a long, long time. 

I can tell you right now, I AM a Christian. I know that the ONLY way for me to get back to my God is through the Atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ. He is who I follow. He is who I turn to. He is who I love. He is who I know.

I'm a wifey, angel baby mommy, Christian, and a Mormon. Now go spread the word that we're not about to go all David Koresh WACO on you guys okay?

Tender Mercies

For Elder Bednar's full talk, click on my blog title and it'll take you to it :)

There have been so many times in my life, and especially in these last few months that I have been the recipient of God's tender mercies. I was wanting to get a better feel for a way to describe what, to me, tender mercies are and I remember David A. Bednar giving a talk on such a thing. Here is a small excerpt.

"Since last October I have reflected repeatedly upon the phrase “the tender mercies of the Lord.” Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15)."

As a lot of you know, I have been struggling for about a month with my health. I think that for me, this would be tough at anytime but with Cody being gone, it is extraordinarily difficult for me to stay positive. Yes I have my family supporting me and helping me out as well as the love from Cody's family and from my good friend Erin, who takes care of me everyday, but not having my husband here has really been taking its toll on me. I just keep telling myself, I have had it much worse than this before, and other people have it way worse than me right now, so to just keep my chin up and get through things one day at a time.

Well yesterday, I was having a really hard time. I had had a frustrating Friday and then yesterday didn't seem to be going any better. I was sitting on my bed just reading when my phone rings and I glance at the number and lo and behold its a 210 area code!! I answered with a, "Hey baby!!" It was funny because I caught him off guard by knowing it was him. I asked him how he was and he said, "The real question is how are you?" He had gotten my letter explaining about my hospital visit but hadn't received any of my follow up letters. He was worried sick, which I knew he would be but I had HOPED, he would realize if he hadn't heard from the Red Cross, then it couldn't have been too terribly serious. I just kept reassuring him I was fine and I was doing what I could to take care of myself. He is still pretty sick from that yucky cold but holdin up just fine. We both just needed to hear each other's voices so badly. It was exactly what I needed. It was a God-send. It was a tender mercy.

After the phone call, I went down to find some kleenex and found another tender mercy awaiting me on the kitchen counter. A letter!!

I'll just go ahead and throw a quick update in here as well. I went to my new OB on Friday and after my exam he said he didn't think I have any more cysts or endometriosis. He said my symptoms are not congruent with that at all and he believes it could be blood floating around my abdomen and bladder. He also said, he could guess at a million different things that it COULD be but he just doesn't know. My pain has gotten even worse and even more uncomfortable. I am exhausted all the time, my nose-bleeds have worsened, and I am so nauseous. He said that if my symptoms and pain worsened over the weekend, to call him on Monday and he would set up a consult with a general surgeon. So that is the plan for now. I'll be calling first thing tomorrow morning and we will see what happens.

On a lighter note, 33 DAYS UNTIL I GET TO SEE CODY!!

My way of supporting this argument

Service Service Service

I know its been like a month and a half since Cody and I spoke in church but I have been thinking about service today which brought me to posting this. Thinking about service and how no matter how badly we may be in need for it, it is so hard to accept it. Accepting help for me is a difficult thing. I am stubborn but I hate having to admit to myself and especially to others that I am indeed, needing help of some kind. This reminded my of Cody's talk which he gave. It was so good! He talked on service. I thought I would post it. Its a side many have never seen of him but its there! Needing help, realizing it, asking for it, then in turn accepting it is definitely a humbling experience. Here is Cody's talk.

"Good Afternoon Brothers and Sisters. As my wife introduced me, I am Cody Steele. Like she said, a few weeks ago, Brother Cox gave us the assignment of a short talk for today. Unfortunately for me, he did not assign a topic. A few days ago, I was considering speaking about the evils of procrastination, but I never got around to it. Instead I decided to speak to you today about service.

I found a very interesting talk given by Dallin H. Oaks. It the very first talk he gave after being called to serve in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. The question he built his talk around is not what service can we do, or how much can we do for someone, but why do we serve at all?

We all have been taught and know that service is important to our salvation. Jesus himself taught us in the book of John that, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another". In latter day prophecy the Lord has commanded that we “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” as found in D&C 81 verse 5.
Indeed, service is a covenant obligation of all members of the Church of Jesus Christ.

But why do we serve. Why we are serving matters even more than what we are doing as far as the Lord is concerned. The scriptures teach that the Lord looks to our thoughts as well as to our acts. One of God’s earliest commandments to Israel was that they should love him and “serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Doctrine and Covenants 64 verse 34 declares that the Lord requires not only the acts of the children of men, but “the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.” As the Apostle Paul said, we that are strong enough to bear the infirmities of the weak should not do so “to please ourselves.” These scriptures make clear that in order to purify our service in the Church and to our fellowmen, it is necessary to consider not only how we serve, but also why we serve.

Elder Oaks discusses six reasons as to why the people of this world serve those around them. The first is to serve for earthly reward. To serve in acts of mercy in order to receive prominence in culure or gain in income earns no gospel reward.

Another reason for service—probably more worthy than the first, but still in the category of service in search of earthly reward—is that motivated by a personal desire to obtain good companionship. We surely have good associations in our Church service, but is that why we serve?

Some people may serve for fear of punishment. It is common to read in the scriptures, stories of those who are miserable because they failed to follow the commandments of the Lord. Thus, King Benjamin taught his people that the soul of the unrepentant transgressor would be filled with “a lively sense of his own guilt, which doth cause him to shrink from the presence of the Lord, and doth fill his breast with guilt, and pain, and anguish, which is like an unquenchable fire, whose flame ascendeth up forever and ever.” Such descriptions surely offer sufficient incentive for keeping the commandment of service. But service out of fear of punishment is a lesser motive at best.


People may serve to fulfill a sense of duty or out of loyalty to family or tradition. These people do what they are asked without question, but sometimes without giving much though to the reasons of their service. These people do much good in the world and we have all benefited by the good works of such people. Those who serve out of a sense of duty or loyalty to various wholesome causes are the good and honorable men and women of the earth. Service such as this will surely qualify for some of the blessing of the gospel, especially if done joyfully. As the Apostle Paul wrote in his second letter to the Corinthians: “But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.

Although those who serve out of fear of punishment or out of a sense of duty undoubtedly qualify for the blessings of heaven, there are still higher reasons for service.

One such reason is to serve for the hope of an eternal reward. This hope—the expectation of enjoying the fruits of our labors—is one of the most powerful sources of motivation. As a reason for service, it necessarily involves faith in God and in the fulfillment of his prophecies. The scriptures are rich in promises of eternal rewards. For example, in a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith in June 1829, the Lord said: “If you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.”

The final and most noble of the many reasons to serve is Given in the scripture Moroni 7 verse 47. Charity is the pure love of Christ. Mormon teaches us that this virtue is the greatest of all. We know from these inspired words that even the most extreme acts of service—such as giving all of our goods to feed the poor—profit us nothing unless our service is motivated by the pure love of Christ. We learn from this command that it is not enough to serve God with all of our might and strength. He who looks into our hearts and knows our minds demands more than this. In order to stand blameless before God at the last day, we must also serve him with all our heart and mind.

Service with all of our heart and mind is a high challenge for all of us. Such service must be free of selfish ambition. It must be motivated only by the pure love of Christ.


We have been taught that as we grow in selflessness that our blessings will grow accordingly. We were told in 2 Corinthians Chapter 9 verse 6 and 7 that “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.”

In closing I have one last quote from an anonymous writer, “It is obeying God willingly that is accepted “The Lord hates that which is forced—it is rather a tax than an offering.” I have a strong testimony of service and hope that I can continue to serve for the right reasons. I know that it is by the pure love of Christ that the greatest things of this world have come to pass. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ Amen."

I love that man!!

Wise Words Indeed

Finding Joy in the Journey

Great thoughts from President Thomas S. Monson:

"My brothers and sisters, there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today. I’ve shared with you previously an example of this philosophy. I believe it bears repeating. Many years ago, Arthur Gordon wrote in a national magazine, and I quote:

'When I was around thirteen and my brother ten, Father had promised to take us to the circus. But at lunchtime there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention downtown. We braced ourselves for disappointment. Then we heard him say [into the phone], "No, I won’t be down. It’ll have to wait."

'When he came back to the table, Mother smiled. "The circus keeps coming back, you know," [she said.] '“I know," said Father. "But childhood doesn’t.”'

If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future."

Great thoughts that strike so true!! What a great and wise man!

Big Love & What to do??

When I first heard about the t.v. show "Big Love" I kinda just shrugged it off. I am used to people having certain notions and ideas about the LDS Church and I have gotten used to ignoring them. It seems that not responding at all is much easier and less confrontational than getting out my pair of angry eyes and ranting all over the net and blogosphere. I have received many chain emails saying to boycott certain things and while this may have a positive impact on people's (HBO, TimeWarner, Mormon Haters, The Media) consciences, it may also just feed the flames.

After reading in the Newsroom on the LDS Church website, what the Church's stand is on the issue, I felt a little better at my decision to stay out of this. Yes it makes me sick. Yes it makes me angry. Yes it makes me want to jump up and down and say, "This is so wrong and so unfair." I have thought and thought about it and even though it is unfair, and unethical, and wrong in every way, the show will go on. The people who feed off of being negative and condescending about and toward The Church and its members will continue to do so. It must be their lot in life but that is their prerogative. Here is the official Church statement. I hope it helps to calm you down as well. This is just another sign of the times my friends. A sign of the times.

"The Publicity Dilemma

SALT LAKE CITY 9 March 2009

Like other large faith groups, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sometimes finds itself on the receiving end of attention from Hollywood or Broadway, television series or books, and the news media. Sometimes depictions of the Church and its people are quite accurate. Sometimes the images are false or play to stereotypes. Occasionally, they are in appallingly bad taste.

As Catholics, Jews and Muslims have known for centuries, such attention is inevitable once an institution or faith group reaches a size or prominence sufficient to attract notice. Yet Latter-day Saints – sometimes known as Mormons - still wonder whether and how they should respond when news or entertainment media insensitively trivialize or misrepresent sacred beliefs or practices.

Church members are about to face that question again. Before the first season of the HBO series Big Love aired more than two years ago, the show’s creators and HBO executives assured the Church that the series wouldn’t be about Mormons. However, Internet references to Big Love indicate that more and more Mormon themes are now being woven into the show and that the characters are often unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous. And according to TV Guide, it now seems the show’s writers are to depict what they understand to be sacred temple ceremonies.

Certainly Church members are offended when their most sacred practices are misrepresented or presented without context or understanding. Last week some Church members began e-mail chains calling for cancellations of subscriptions to AOL, which, like HBO, is owned by Time Warner. Certainly such a boycott by hundreds of thousands of computer-savvy Latter-day Saints could have an economic impact on the company. Individual Latter-day Saints have the right to take such actions if they choose.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as an institution does not call for boycotts. Such a step would simply generate the kind of controversy that the media loves and in the end would increase audiences for the series. As Elder M. Russell Ballard and Elder Robert D. Hales of the Council of the Twelve Apostles have both said recently, when expressing themselves in the public arena, Latter-day Saints should conduct themselves with dignity and thoughtfulness.

Not only is this the model that Jesus Christ taught and demonstrated in his own life, but it also reflects the reality of the strength and maturity of Church members today. As someone recently said, “This isn’t 1830, and there aren’t just six of us anymore.” In other words, with a global membership of thirteen and a half million there is no need to feel defensive when the Church is moving forward so rapidly. The Church’s strength is in its faithful members in 170-plus countries, and there is no evidence that extreme misrepresentations in the media that appeal only to a narrow audience have any long-term negative effect on the Church.

Examples:

* During the Mitt Romney election campaign for the presidency of the United States, commentator Lawrence O’Donnell hurled abuse at the Church in a television moment that became known among many Church members as “the O’Donnell rant.” Today, his statements are remembered only as a testament to intolerance and ignorance. They had no effect on the Church that can be measured.

* When the comedy writers for South Park produced a gross portrayal of Church history, individual Church members no doubt felt uncomfortable. But once again it inflicted no perceptible or lasting damage to a church that is growing by at least a quarter of a million new members every year.

* When an independent film company produced a grossly distorted version of the Mountain Meadows Massacre two years ago, the Church ignored it. Perhaps partly as a result of that refusal to engender the controversy that the producers hoped for, the movie flopped at the box office and lost millions.

* In recent months, some gay activists have barraged the media with accusations about “hateful” attitudes of Latter-day Saints in supporting Proposition 8 in California, which maintained the traditional definition of marriage. They even organized a protest march around the Salt Lake Temple. Again, the Church has refused to be goaded into a Mormons versus gays battle and has simply stated its position in tones that are reasonable and respectful. Meanwhile, missionary work and Church members in California remain as robust and vibrant as ever, and support for the Church has come from many unexpected quarters — including some former critics and other churches.

Now comes another series of Big Love, and despite earlier assurances from HBO it once again blurs the distinctions between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the show’s fictional non-Mormon characters and their practices. Such things say much more about the insensitivities of writers, producers and TV executives than they say about Latter-day Saints.

If the Church allowed critics and opponents to choose the ground on which its battles are fought, it would risk being distracted from the focus and mission it has pursued successfully for nearly 180 years. Instead, the Church itself will determine its own course as it continues to preach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world."

Cuteness

We love being an Uncle and Auntie! There's so many cute kiddies in my family thanks to my sister and brothers. Here are pictures of two of our nephews whom are not in the family picture at our wedding. Tanner is the cute blonde one.The picture was from back in May of this year. Mr. Superman & I sat with Tanner at the temple and took him to the Visitor's Center when Katie (SIL) & Jared (Brother) were going through to get sealed (LDS ceremony).

The other two are of Mr. Superman and I taking our turns holding the newest addition to the Organ family. Parker Scott is Jared & Katie's newest. He was born August 6th. What can we say? We have the cutest nephews & nieces ever.

Waiting for it to all come together... Anytime now, really.

Well, for starters, for those of you who are a bit behind the times, I do not have a job. I had been working for a great family and then the economy hit them like it hit everyone else and they had to let me go. A nanny is a luxury, not a mandatory, vital part of life. I was sad but I got hired on to the University of Phoenix. It really was a blessing but after I began working there I realized that the majority of the stuff that I had been told, the stuff that made me want to work there, was more or less a big fat lie. A ruse to get me to accept the position. Magical words to get me suckered into something I wouldn't have even glanced twice at had I known the truth. Anyways, I was planning on sticking it out for at least six months to see if I could get a promotion or move to a different department.

The last straw really came when Mr. Superman and I got the call about Grandpa. I had actually been at home with a HORRIBLE flu bug when he came home and told me what had happened. So after packing, making phone calls, and beginning our drive to Utah I FINALLY got a call back from my guy Brian that managed my file at the temp agency I was hired through. He offered me his condolences then proceeded to say and I quote, "I just got off the phone with the head of HR and he told me to pass along to you that since you are new and still on contract hire you do not get bereavement time. If you are not at work tomorrow they will be forced to terminate you." Silence, (in my head I'm screaming four letter words). "Brian, don't worry about it." "So you'll be there?" "No, I guess I resign." A great little additive to our trip right? Well to be completely honest I didn't think about it much. It really was the least of our worries.

At the risk of sounding full of myself I will have to say that I consider myself pretty well qualified for a range of different jobs and positions. I have been a nanny and I am damn good at that. I can type fast, am extremely organized (talking OCD here), self starter, punctual, fast learner, all that jazz. I am a great people person, patient... blah blah blah etc. I CANNOT FIND A JOB! It is absolutely ridiculous. I send out my resume to a MINIMUM ten new places every day. And believe it or not I am not being picky in the slightest bit. I am applying for any and all nanny, secretary, personal assistant, customer service, receptionist positions I can find. Ranging from part time to full time and from 8 dollars an hour to 35,000 a year. It's so frustrating to not even hear back from anywhere. Really, it's giving me a complex. The fact that we got this scholarship can't be coming at a better time especially since no one wants me.

I just keep questioning and praying and thinking and questioning and praying and thinking over and over and over again and nothings happening. A big fat nothing. It's not just the job thing. A few of you may know what I am referring to when I say its discouraging to me that I am doing all that I can and more and nothing is happening. January was a REALLY rough month and I really don't ever want to go through that again. I can't help but feel like a complete failure and when I get down about it, Mr. Superman gets down about it and then we both have a couple down days, pray, get our resolve back for a while and then the cycle repeats. I know that this particular weakness is definitely something Satan feeds off of. He knows how much it affects me and He then uses it against me in other areas of my life and relationships. I know this and yet when I'm feeling down I tend to forget that I know that and I get nowhere.

I was thinking today about everything. I mean everything going on in our lives from the very tiniest most minuscule details to the big ones like us making a HUGE move.

I do appreciate all of the love and support we get from our family and friends. It helps more than you know. I promise to have a more upbeat post next time!!

Big News!!

So Mr. Superman & I finally received some really exciting news that we've been waiting for for quite some time now.... Is everyone ready? Mr. Superman was FINALLY awarded his scholarship! I know what you're thinking, big news, yeah right. Well it's big to us! We've been waiting since July for this. Having to make payments towards his tuition was literally sucking us dry but he found out today he got it. It is a huge load off of our minds and eases so much stress, especially with all of the upcoming moving expenses. We're so happy about it and know it is a wonderful blessing from the Lord.

Another thing I had wanted to share happened a few weeks ago. When we got back from Utah a couple weeks ago we came home to an unbelievably ginormous stack of bills. Fun, fun, fun! We were praying and praying that we'd be able to pay them all. I had a strong feeling that we needed to post Mr. Superman's dirt bike on Craigslist. We had been trying to sell it for almost a year and Loverface was pretty doubtful. All I said was we need to try again. Right now. So we did. Not even twenty minutes later did I go check his email (he was at school) and there was five responses/offers. I got so excited and responded to all of them. We ended up selling it two days later and got double what we had expected for it. We were able to pay everything we needed to and that was another huge blessing for us. I know this scholarship is too. There were a lot of qualifications to meet and not many people were going to be chosen. I am so so so grateful for the blessings we get! That's our big news. Ha, I know its not nearly as big as Gin's (my sister in law just found out she's expecting their fourth) but its big to us!