Playin' Catch Up... Again!

Its been a little while but I have had no desire whatsoever to post. I'm still not totally feelin it but I had an amazing weekend and have pictures so that is my motivation. Seriously though, lots of pictures!

I have been working out like crazy and its a slow process but I can actually squeeze back into my jeans now. I also have been trying to eat a little healthier so hopefully that'll help speed the process along as well.

This last week we went with Cody's recruiting Sergeant to Hill AF Base to tour. That was a ton of fun. We learned a lot and added a ton of things to our ammenities list. Ha ha, we are all about the perks. Later that night I checked my phone and he (Sgt Vanhook) invited us to Supercross on Saturday (the AF got in for free). I was sooo excited. I needed to get out and the weather had been fantastic and I was just thoroughly looking forward to it.

Friday the weather turned chilly and the sun was gone. Saturday it was even colder and rainy and super windy but we put on our jackets and arrived downtown at about noon. It was a little hairy tryin to get all of us in but after about an hour of wrangling with the witchy ticket girl, we headed down to the pit area. There were tons of booths and all the riders and their crews were working on the bikes. It was seriously so much fun just to see everyone and walk around and see how crazy some of the sponsors go all out out. The Air Force also had a booth and I was the only girl there, also the only non AF, but somehow I was made like the AF girl... it was interesting. All the guys were cool though and Sgt. Vanhook is always hilarious so despite the freezing pouring rain and wind, the afternoon was a blast. At about 5:30 I headed up to the stands by myself because all of the new AF guys that had been there were actually going out onto the field to be in the opening ceremonies and swear in. They were supposed to go on at 6:00 but didn't end up going out until after 7:00. I was so cold and lonely and soaking wet but when Cody went out there and swore in, and nearly 50,000 people gave him and the other fourteen men a standing ovation, I cried and screamed, and jumped up and down with everyone else and forgot all about my discomfort.

Also had I known what network it was on, I would have let everyone know. It was televised nationwide on CBS though, maybe some of you saw it!

The heats started at about 7:30 and the 250's were just as much fun as the 450's. I didn't know anyone in the 250's so I just cheered on colors. Ha Ha it was seriously so much fun. The main race, final event wasn't until nearly 10:00 PM but was totally worth the wait. These guys are phenomenal. It is absolutely incredible what they do. I had been cheering all night for the top two guys Chad Reed who is #1 and James Stewart #7. I had been torn all night but when the final race started, I was cheering only for James Stewart. He ended up winning and tied up points wise with Chad Reed and now its down to the wire to see who wins in the finals next week in Vegas. Oh how I wish we could go.

By the time we got home, we were exhausted and still numb but had had one of the best days in a long time. Here are some pictures of Supercross. I will post later the other things that have been going on.


Supercross was held at the University of Utah Stadium.



James Stewart testing out his bike for a practice run.


Villapoto was ranked top five in the competition and I think he finished 4th that night but Monster is his sponsor and they were the headlining sponsor of the season and I think the tour so they were pretty huge and all over.


This is the Air Force recruiting truck that they take to events. It had a ridiculous set up in the back, all the men thought it was beautiful.


just to give you an idea of how low the clouds were and how dreary of a day it was.





Cody is in the back row, right top corner.


Before the Supercross light main event started.


Great shot of the 250 riders comin out of the gate, before the holeshot


This is the 450 main final event, all the riders comin out on the straight away.


Me showing my love for James Stewart #7!


After the race ended, so happy my guy won, and so glad we were going to be warm soon!

Shock & a half! WATCH!!

I had this sent to me by my MIL and with a description of why dreams matter. She also mentioned she had cried so I had totally prepped myself for a really sad but inspirational story. I had Cody watch it with me and we didn't cry but I had chills the ENTIRE time and I could NOT get over what I was seeing and hearing. It makes me wish I had British television. Ha but seriously watch. This showed me that cynicism is so horrible and detrimental to us as individuals. This woman was so strong to stand up and do what she did.

If the link isn't clickable then just copy and paste it into your browser. Its worth it!!

Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luRmM1J1sfg&feature=bz301

And the followup article:

http://blog.seattlepi.com/theconstantvalentine/archives/166554.asp?from=blog_last3

Allowing myself to be angry

Current things bugging me the most?

Let's see, people who aren't even trying, and who don't even WANT kids, getting pregnant left and right.

Yeah I think out of the people I know who have gotten married in the same year as us up until just recently, there are 3 that don't have at least one baby.

I am so utterly sick and tired of it.

Two amazing if not unlikely friends

Some of you whom attended HA will remember Kara Kearney now Kara Erickson. She moved away from AZ in high school to CO and I lost touch with her. Although we had had classes together and had a lot of the same friends we had never been super close. We discovered each other a year or so ago and quickly rekindled our friendship. We talk online several times a week and she has been such a great source of comfort to me. We often talk about our faith, and although we don't share the same religion, we share the same ideals, beliefs, and many of the same opinions. She is so fun to talk to and she is quite possibly the sweetest, kindest person I have ever met. We talk about our husbands, our lives, and whatever struggles we happen to be dealing with. Right now for me that happens to be my recent health struggles. Kara can relate to having health issues and having to cope with what comes. The other day I got a UPS delivery and was at a total loss. I had no idea what it was or why I had gotten it. I opened it to find a gift box from Bath and Body Works with a wonderfully thoughtful card from Kara. She is so awesome and I am so grateful to her and her friendship.

Next is Cathy Ricks, now Cathy Dean. She is a few years older than me but she is probably the only person I know that can 100% relate to me and my current life happenings and feelings. She is such a source of hope to me. She has a miracle baby and that gives me hope. Even though the doctor said its going to be hard and its a small chance, her having her baby gives me hope. After finding out what had been going on, she sent me the most heartfelt, compassion filled letter I have ever received and I bawled me eyes out. We never hung out in high school, I haven't even seen her in several years, but she is my friend. I thank her publicly for her love and prayers and concern.

I am so unbelievably lucky to have these two women in my life. No, they don't live near me at all. No, I haven't seen either of them in years. There are factors missing that are usually part of a friendship but these women have been better friends to me from a distance than many others that I considered to be close friends. So thank you Kara and Cathy. You guys are in my life for a reason and I recognize that. I love you girls!

Follow Up

For those who I don't speak to regularly I thought I'd post a quick update on my health. I had my follow up appt. on Monday. I got my incisions and swelling and everything else looked at. My incisions "looked good" although to me they are hideous. My doctor (the surgeon) was shocked when he saw my swelling and bruising. He hadn't ever seen that happen with this surgery. He came to the conclusions as my other doctors. I bruised so badly and am still bruising and still swollen because I bled internally for a month. They usually catch it after a week or catch it before it even starts happening so mine was pretty bad. I am still really sore and by mid morning I am ready for a nap. I can walk semi-normally but it still takes me like five minutes to make it up or down our 6 stairs. I am also still dealing with pregnancy hormones which he said will continue for about two months after my surgery. Just things like smells making me sick and craving things or not wanting anything because it sounds so gross. I am getting better though and I cannot wait for another week to pass. I gained a ridiculous 15 pounds and can't even come close to squeezing into jeans. In a week I will hopefully be able to go work my butt off and lose my 15-20 lbs. We have Steele family pictures on May 1st so it'll be tough but I am determined. I think that is about it. I have been putting together decor ideas for our next house and have found some fabulous stuff. I will post pictures of some of my ideas later. Thank you all for everything. Love you!!

♥ One of my biggest blessings

This man is my life. I wouldn't be here without him. He is my everything. I am so grateful I have him and more than anything that he loves me. I love him. ♥

Tryin to feel good about myself

Well its been a week since my surgery. It has been a very long week and I am glad it is coming to a close. What a better way to end this nightmarish slew of days than with General Conference.




We woke up this morning and came over to Kevin and Whit's (Kevin has drill) and curled up with blankets on the couch and settled in to listen and be edified. Whit cooked up some yummy food, I popped some pain pills and we rather enjoyed ourselves.

Cody unfortunately is missing the second session today, which he is pretty sad about, but there was something he needed to help someone with. He will be attending the priesthood session with uncles and cousins though and is looking forward to that.

On Thursday I was feeling really gross and not pretty at all so I summoned up my courage and went to get my hair cut.



I paid dearly for it that night and on Friday but the pain was worth it. I did make up today and hair so I could have a boost in self confidence. Feeling pretty is helping me. Of course I had to Photobooth after all that work so here they are folks. Love you all.

More Yuckiness

I am so completely overwhelmed by the outreach and service we have been receiving. My MIL has been fantastic along with my SIL's who take turns "babysitting" me until Cody gets home. Cody's cousins are going to be bringing dinners along with my Relief Society. It is so humbling. Jeff's mom, Nana, will be visiting later this week and bringing me some books because I am so utterly starved for entertainment. Cody will be calling the Bishop so next weekend I am able to have the sacrament. All of the well wishes and prayers are greatly appreciated.

My doctor had told me that with my complications and residual blood drainage that my pain and swelling would worsen for about a week before I start to see improvement. That has definitely proven true. I wake up every morning, having gone about 14 hours without pain or nausea medicine and I can sure feel it. I was finally able to take a nap today, whereas the past few days I would try and try and would never be able to drop off. I have an appointment on Monday in which he will be looking for signs of the bleeding to have stopped completely and hopefully that the drainage will have started to dissipate. I also have quite a few questions I have. I am so glad Cody will be coming with me.

Here are my bruises and swollen abdomen as of today. Keep the prayers coming. Love you all.

An Update: May Be TMI For Some

Well I figured it was time to post but since this post will be somewhat personal I wanted to make my blog private before it got posted. This way only family and a few friends will be reading it.

Over the last month I have been pretty ill. It kept getting worse and worse but I just thought it was the flu or something so I dealt with it. I was having really bad pains in my stomach and was not able to eat with out throwing up. Last week, on Sunday, it got even worse and the pain was so bad I was not able to stand up or hardly move without crying out. This went on until the Friday the 27th, which is when I gave in and had my MIL Robyn take me into an Urgent Care Center. Leading up to this a series of small events happened that I sincerely believe were miracles.

First off Robyn was supposed to be in Palm Desert, CA that weekend but had decided not to go. Then Friday morning she had had two other things going on in the morning that had postponed the doctor until later. Both of those things got canceled one right after the other and she saw it as a sign that I needed to go in ASAP. As it turns out, it couldn't have been sooner. We really were racing against the clock and didn't even know it.

We got to the Medical Center and they put me right into a room which was good because I was going downhill fast. They took some blood and urine samples (the urine sample couldn't be used because I was so severely dehydrated there wasn't anything to test) and also hooked me up to an IV to start getting me re-hydrated. After I had two liters pumped in me I was still digressing so the doctor sent my info over to the nearest ER and had us rush over there.

They were waiting for me and they wheeled me right into a room. They needed a urine sample before they could do anything but I didn't think I could produce enough. They threatened me with a catheter which did the trick. It scared the pee outta me. Ha Ha. The ER Dr. then came in and was thinking it was severe appendicitis but needed a CT Scan to confirm so they hooked me up to two more IV's and started pushing through more fluids and morphine. The pain continued to get worse, which they couldn't figure out why. I finally got taken back for my CT and they found internal bleeding in my abdomen. My urine test also came back positive for pregnancy.

This was a complete shock. We have been trying to get pregnant since we got married and had already experienced one miscarriage but we weren't having any success. I also had just finished my period so I didn't think there was any chance we could be pregnant at all. With the internal bleeding getting worse, and the positive pregnancy test they called in an OB. He was on call so it took about an hour to get him in there but it turns out I was having an ectopic pregnancy. The baby was in my fallopian tube instead of my uterus so it was feeding off of those blood cells. The baby had outgrown that blood supply so all of my blood vessels were bursting and causing the internal bleeding. If your fallopian tube bursts, it releases toxins but also causes such severe internal bleeding you die really quickly. Mine had not burst yet so they rushed me into surgery. Despite my doctor's attempts, they were not able to save my fallopian tube. He said it was a miracle it hadn't burst and that it was the biggest one he had ever seen in his 35 years of practicing. I was 8 weeks along. He was able to salvage my right ovary but its kind of a bum one now. All of my eggs will just be absorbed into my body.

After surgery I was still in a lot of pain but on the mend. On Saturday mid-morning I noticed some irregular swelling and bleeding not consistent with my incisions or surgery. My right labia was so swollen I couldn't stand and we couldn't find out where the bleeding was coming from. The Doctor on call came and examined me but said to wait over night and if the swelling got worse and if I continued to bleed then I would have to go under again so he could go in and cauterize what he thought was a cervical tear. The swelling did get worse as did the pain and bleeding but another miracle happened. I had yet another doctor come in on Sunday and examine me. He said it is really rare but sometimes when a fallopian tube is removed, the residual blood with trickled down and go sit in the labia. It adds on another week of bad pain and about a week and a half of bed rest but that the labia wasn't something to worry about. He said if my bleeding was from a cervical tear then it was too small to need surgery but that it could just me trauma bleeding in my uterus which will taper off.

I had great doctors and aides and nurses. They were all absolutely phenomenal. All except one but we won't talk about her. Having such a great staff helped a ton.

I was discharged on Sunday and have been living on my couch. I have gotten so many beautiful flowers and phone calls expressing love and concern. I am so grateful for everyone. I am trying to stay upbeat and positive but I am sad. I still have hope though. I know we will have kids we just don't know how we will come about them. Cody is so amazing, the love of my life. I couldn't do this without him. His mom has been great. Feeding us and taking care of me while Cody is gone. I have about 2 1/2 more weeks of recovery but I am getting there. I love you all!!

These are when I had just been sent to the ER. Showing off my IV's.




These are the tulips my MIL got me and the bear that my amazing ER nurse Tiffany brought up after my surgery. He has an IV too.




This is the coolest tape ever. They use it tape the IV's in and use it as anchors but it had a little man on it!!



I got horrible bloody noses in there so I used rubber gloves full of ice to help them clot. Cody thought it was funny.



This is my amazing baby love just hanging out in his recliner.




I am still swelling and bruising like crazy. It gets worse by the hour. Here are some of the good ones :)





The gorgeous flowers Amber, my MIL, and Nana brought me. They make me happy. They are bright spots in this room I am stuck in.

banquete mexicano!!!

Oh my goodness Friday's dinner was absolutely delicious!! For the last three weeks I have been experiencing the most insatiable hankerings for Mexican food. Sooo when I had extra beef from my pot roast, I was unbelievably excited to make tacos!

We had fresh corn tortillas, Mexican rice, guacamole, pinto beans, shredded beef, corn & black bean salsa for Cody, spicy salsa for me, chips... The list goes on. I also discovered something fantastic at the store a few days before. Amazing Cherry Limeade completed it and helped us to wash it all down. We barely squeezed it all onto our little table.

Cody's cousin Whitney had just gotten home from her vaca on St. Thomas so we had her join us. Even with us three stuffing our faces there was so much left over so I sent it all home with her to share with her hubby when he got back that night. It was so good!!