You Should Practice Swallowing Your Words or Maybe Not Talking At All

Oh word vomit what a bittersweet relationship we have. On the one hand, I don't have much of a filter and severely lack the ability to bite my tongue, so I can appreciate when other people are brutally honest or don't sugar coat things. On the other hand, most people abuse you. Word vomit isn't supposed to be obscenely foolish or full of incompetence and yet so many humans don't grasp that their word vomit is just that. I guess once they vocabularily puke on someone who isn't able to suppress the innate desire to kick their teeth in, they'll start to catch on. 

But I won't hold my breath. 

We're used to people around us, most of the people we know/talk to, being (sometimes unintentionally) insensitive and just all around clueless about a lot of the things we have going on in our lives. We realize that multiple lost pregnancies, infertility, military life, and my rape are all kind of heavy things people will treat like landmines. Trust me, we grasp that fully.

Some people's excuse is that they just don't know what to say or do or how to act. 

Answer: NORMAL.  
Duh.  

To us, its just routine life, the life we've had for 5 years. There is no need for our conversations with you to be centered around the crappy things we've had happen. The last thing we ever wanna do is make people feel uncomfortable or be constantly rehashing the sometimes harshness of our past/present reality. We don't expect anyone to be fully educated or sound insanely cultivated on any of those subjects but most of the word vomit that abounds defies the normalcy of common sense. More often than not Mr. Superman and I will exchange glances that expressly involve the single thought of, "REALLY?!" and the more people tip toe around us and try to make conversations with us 'normal' the more dumb stuff falls out of their brains and off of their tongues. Its like the harder you try to be perfect at something, the more you'll find yourself making little mistakes but the minute you let yourself chill out and be the regular you, things will start to flow.

Unless you're a special brand of dim-wittedness a la Jessica Simpson or just flat out mean spirited, the conversations that seem to have been recycled for the last 5 years regardless of who we're talking to, need to stop.

EXAMPLES:

I get FB messages, emails, texts, and people telling me all the time about how sharing my story about being raped is disrespectful to my husband and I shouldn't be talking about it. 

We get told ALL the time that if we just relax, pregnancy and viable birth will just happen when the time is right.  

We are incessantly and without fail asked by friends and family when we plan on becoming parents. 

WTF? Again, REALLY?!

The first one I never even dignify with a response because that is just flat out, pure ignorance.

The second one is full of stupidity because trust me, if relaxing is all it would take for us to have a baby, I'd be more zen that Buddha. A) I no longer have the body parts and organs required to get pregnant on our own and all the relaxation in the world won't make those things grow back. B) Shut up unless you wanna get slapped. 

Lastly, the hardships and facts about our issues with having children are far from secret. In fact, people I've never even met know all the nitty gritty because its been all over this blog for years. Oh, and Facebook. And every time you ask us, we give the same answer. We'll have kids when we either win the lottery, someone dies and leaves us a fortune,  someone decides to donate the insane amount of mula our situation will require, or someone's 16 year old sister/daughter/niece/friend/cousin gets knocked up and gives us their kid. The one option I haven't tried is dedicating my life to becoming the best gosh-darn coke head street walker I can possibly be. Word is those lucky yatches get knocked up about as often as Charlie Sheen says, "WINNING!"


Really though...

When someone talks to us like they know how it feels to be more barren than the Sahara while holding 3 babies on their hips, I want nothing more than to stop them and ask them how stupid they're capable of sounding because I do indeed have a limit of how much I can tolerate before I just turn and walk away.

When someone complains about how annoying their kid is or how lucky we are to be childless and then drones on about how 'doing the whole mommy thing' is the hardest thing anyone could ever do I want to correct them and say the hardest thing anyone could ever do is not strangle you while you're rambling on like a world class dumbnut.

Now I'm not going to say this isn't directed at anyone personally (because I don't LIE) and because it is. I have to chuckle whenever I read someones blog or FB rant where they go off on something but then say, "Now no one take offense because its not directed at anyone." Why do I let out a jolly old "Ha Ha!"? 

Because its a fib and everyone knows its a fib. 

The person who reads that and believes you is probably the person you are dedicating that slice of vent heaven to. You're writing it for a reason and its directed at someone. 

I will say that this isn't directed at just one person. Its a whole slew of these word vomit users and abusers that this goes out to. If you have to think in your pretty little head if you've ever made me wanna flick you in the nose and walk away, you probably have but hey, we're all human and it happens. I know I bug the beejeebeez out of some people and that is just dandy because I have the peace of mind that I don't toss my verbal cookies in someones face over sensitive issues and I know I'm not mean, I'm honest. I can't give offense, you can only take it and that too sweetcheeks, is your prerogative.