We Do It Anyway

There are certain things that Military Significant Others shouldn't do while their Loverface's are gone.

Whether you're a Newbie and you're going through your first ever Military-related separation or a tried and true Milie Veteran, you know what I'm talking about. It never matters WHY they're gone, WHERE they are, or HOW LONG you'll be apart. It only matters that they are gone and it's always tough.

Some are kind of general things like not watching Military movies that will rip our hearts out and make us sick with worry or watching and reading the news like crazy.

Examples: Act of Valor, Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, Hurt Locker, Flags of Our Fathers, and the movie that taunted me during Mr. Superman's first deployment (but I never gave in!), Taking Chance.

Other things are more of a gamble and some decide to err on the side of caution. Others, either because their a glutton for punishment or have masochistic tendencies, will forego all instinct to avoid what is the inevitable outcome. Watching movies like Safe Haven, The Time Traveler's Wife, and The Notebook will have us sobbing and wanting our Boo's back for multiple reasons.

Every. Single. Time.

Then there are the things that are more individualized. Things that are going to trigger something inside of us that probably wouldn't do much to another Military SO.

Some of my triggers?

Not to let myself sit on the couch for more than two episodes of certain shows otherwise it leads to an all day laziness that melts into self-pity and complete apathy about how long its been since I've eaten, gotten up and pee'd, or showered.

No looking at photos of us from our Pre-Deployment Shoot, the pictures taken of us while sitting in the Mobility Bay waiting for that Stupid White Bus, or the few snapshots of His Homecoming.

After nearly four years in this Military World I've learned that it doesn't take longer than .5 seconds of any Military Homecoming video before I've got a puffy face that's covered in snot, tears, and mascara. Almost any Music Video that is dedicated to or about our Troops does me in pretty quickly and GOOD LORD, don't even bring up Memorial Videos.

For me there are also some silly and odd things that set me off.

If I see a really funny TREX MEME or Grumpy Cat photo all I want to do is send it to him or show it to him. When I realize a split-second later that its impossible, I hit the Sad Button pretty quickly.

Thinking about how long its been since he shoved me over in bed because I was all up in his bidness never fails to make me well up and realizing that I haven't seen his razor plugged in to charge or his facial hair in the sink in a long time ALWAYS sets off a declaration and resolution in my head that I'll never complain about that stuff ever again once he's home.

If I find myself looking back at old blog posts there is never any doubt that its going to end in tears, my heart throbbing because I miss my Loverface oh so much, and ironically, a new blog post.

It also means I'm left pining after the man who just isn't here right now because all I need to feel better is a smile and a hug from him.

All of us Milie's KNOW there are things we shouldn't do while our loved ones are gone.

But we always do it anyway. 

Dear Loverface: Just A Few Things

You're in the military.
You're also currently gone.

These two things add up to one very simple, inevitable, and highly unfortunate fact.

Murphy moved in.

You know...? The annoying, trouble-causing boyfriend all of us military spouses have move in the minute our Loverface's leave.

Murphy the Douchebag. 

If you were deployed, I'd be sure to not mention any of Murphy's antics so you could focus on your mission and staying safe but since we haven't talked or directly communicated since the day you left, I feel no guilt or worry about sharing it all here.

While chopping bell peppers two days after you left, I dropped the knife. It landed directly in the top of my left foot and stood straight up, sticking out of the top before falling over to the side.

Don't worry! I cleaned up the blood and it didn't stain anything. And it doesn't hurt anymore. 

My car got a big scratch down its side by some douche-hole who didn't leave a note. I think that makes 17 times my baby has gotten hit, dinged, and scratched by some elusive, terrible driver who feels no responsibility at all for damaging other people's property. 

I had yet another friend pass away and I couldn't attend the funeral. I'm proud of how well I handled it and kept it together. 

That strict budget and lecture you gave me took a pretty big hit. Now before you go all, "Woman, what did I tell you?!" on me, read on.

Jane Austen ran out of food and they no longer make her kind so I had to buy something new. Incidentally, they were out of every size except the jumbo one. Good news is she's set for a while. Yay!

My car needed an oil change and a new air filter. 

I have been eating pretty healthy since the day you left. That means lots of produce and organic food which isn't cheap. Guess what though! I'm down five pounds! BOOM!

I had two baby showers to attend and the lingerie shower I threw. All of that was more expensive that I thought. I did have fun though which brought my stress level down on that issue. 

Outside of all things financial, Murphy has messed with me so thoroughly I've just begun to throw up my hands and go on.

I woke up a week ago after the long Memorial Day weekend, insanely sick out of nowhere. I was pretty irritated because I hadn't been around any sick people or any of the kids at work in like 5 days. I guess me having that whole auto immune blood disease thing joined up with Murphy and decided it had been too long sick I'd been sick. I'm still uber sick and my lungs are pretty full. Yuck! It was totally ironic and true to our form that you somehow knew. I got a letter where you talked about my health and how much it worries you. You sent it off a day after I got sick. Two days after that my uterus and ovaries declared war on me so between that and my lungs, I had to miss 5 days of working out which really disappointed me.

I had to completely disassemble and clean the vacuum twice in one day just to get one room clean.

A giant bee somehow got inside and made its way down the hall, into the guest room, and decided to hang out on the bed.

My bum knee? I twisted it really bad. How did it happen? I was working out and rolled my ankle inwards which made my knee buckle and twist. Nice right? I did drag my butt down to your moms basement and between her, I, and Cass, we got to the box that held all of our knee braces. 

So here we are, a mere 18 days after I walked away from you in the SLC Airport and Murphy is winning. 

I'm hoping he quits soon.

I miss you boo.