We Do It Anyway

There are certain things that Military Significant Others shouldn't do while their Loverface's are gone.

Whether you're a Newbie and you're going through your first ever Military-related separation or a tried and true Milie Veteran, you know what I'm talking about. It never matters WHY they're gone, WHERE they are, or HOW LONG you'll be apart. It only matters that they are gone and it's always tough.

Some are kind of general things like not watching Military movies that will rip our hearts out and make us sick with worry or watching and reading the news like crazy.

Examples: Act of Valor, Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, Hurt Locker, Flags of Our Fathers, and the movie that taunted me during Mr. Superman's first deployment (but I never gave in!), Taking Chance.

Other things are more of a gamble and some decide to err on the side of caution. Others, either because their a glutton for punishment or have masochistic tendencies, will forego all instinct to avoid what is the inevitable outcome. Watching movies like Safe Haven, The Time Traveler's Wife, and The Notebook will have us sobbing and wanting our Boo's back for multiple reasons.

Every. Single. Time.

Then there are the things that are more individualized. Things that are going to trigger something inside of us that probably wouldn't do much to another Military SO.

Some of my triggers?

Not to let myself sit on the couch for more than two episodes of certain shows otherwise it leads to an all day laziness that melts into self-pity and complete apathy about how long its been since I've eaten, gotten up and pee'd, or showered.

No looking at photos of us from our Pre-Deployment Shoot, the pictures taken of us while sitting in the Mobility Bay waiting for that Stupid White Bus, or the few snapshots of His Homecoming.

After nearly four years in this Military World I've learned that it doesn't take longer than .5 seconds of any Military Homecoming video before I've got a puffy face that's covered in snot, tears, and mascara. Almost any Music Video that is dedicated to or about our Troops does me in pretty quickly and GOOD LORD, don't even bring up Memorial Videos.

For me there are also some silly and odd things that set me off.

If I see a really funny TREX MEME or Grumpy Cat photo all I want to do is send it to him or show it to him. When I realize a split-second later that its impossible, I hit the Sad Button pretty quickly.

Thinking about how long its been since he shoved me over in bed because I was all up in his bidness never fails to make me well up and realizing that I haven't seen his razor plugged in to charge or his facial hair in the sink in a long time ALWAYS sets off a declaration and resolution in my head that I'll never complain about that stuff ever again once he's home.

If I find myself looking back at old blog posts there is never any doubt that its going to end in tears, my heart throbbing because I miss my Loverface oh so much, and ironically, a new blog post.

It also means I'm left pining after the man who just isn't here right now because all I need to feel better is a smile and a hug from him.

All of us Milie's KNOW there are things we shouldn't do while our loved ones are gone.

But we always do it anyway. 


Team Mama said...

It's the last weekend and then he'll be home. Hang in there- you've almost got this one done! (There's things as a military mom that I can't watch either so in a VERY small way, I know what you are talking about!)

LC said...

So true :) took me a while to get on the computer and read but it's SO true :)


so true
I was looking through old blog posts just tonight...