Lessons Learned

Happy Friday Lovelies!! Today I've got Mrs. Muffins sharing a fabulous (not really surprising since it IS Mrs. Muffins) post about what she's learned in the last five years of marriage. I know most of you other Millie's out there already know her, love her, and follow her but this is for all my Lovelies. Be sure to check her out and show your love!

"How much can be learned in five years of marriage? I like to think these early years are when all the kinks get worked out and someday it will just be eternal bliss. Since my husband and I are celebrating our five year anniversary this winter, I thought I would compile a list of things I’ve learned since becoming his bride.

* Say “I love you.”

We always make it a point to say “I love you” before we get off the phone, leave the house, or go to bed, no matter how angry or tired we are. It may seem morbid, but you never know if you’ll get to say it again. Sure, I know he loves me and he knows I love him but I’m not sure I could live with myself if there were any other words out of my mouth the last time I got to talk to him.

* If you really want to get closer, take a road trip.

Nothing brings two people closer than a day on the road and not just because of the confined quarters. Two tired people, one person navigating, the other driving… If you can both get out of the car at the end of the trip and be more happy than angry, you’ll know you’re meant to be together. You might want to try this before you get married though… and this test works with friends too, just sayin’.

* Choose your battles.

The toilet seat left up, the dishwasher loaded wrong… I plan on being married for the rest of my life. I don’t want to look back over fifty years or more of marriage and see a bunch of petty fights. That doesn’t mean it never happens but usually if I snap over something like that, there’s a bigger issue going on that needs addressed rather than the empty toilet paper roll, ya know?

* Don’t feel bad if you need a little space.

If you pick one person to be with forever and ever, shouldn’t you be able to spend every waking and sleeping minute together without wanting to spit in their coffee? (I swear I’ve never done that, by the way…) Well, sure, it’s fun at first but it’s human nature for us to have hobbies and interests outside of our spouses. You might just need to get out and go for a run in the morning. Maybe you need a girl’s night once a week, whatever it is, don’t feel bad about it. The happier you both are as individuals, the happier your marriage will be.

* Laugh together.

Not at each other… well, sometimes it’s okay to laugh at each other. Laughter is good for you both physically and mentally so it only makes sense that it’s an important part of a healthy marriage. Do things together that make you laugh like watching a funny movie or fake wrestling around. If you can laugh at the little things in life, the easier it will be to laugh when times get hard- when a good laugh is needed the most.

There’s so many more lessons to be learned but I think so far we’re doing alright. I can’t wait to see what my list will look like in five more years!"

Faith Through Infertility

Here is a great post from my friend Ashlee. We went to high school together and through fabulous Facebook and blogging, we have been able to reconnect and find a common (albeit sad) thread. We both can't have babies. She's a brand new teacher and I just love her! Be sure to show your blog love and go check her out at Savor the Moment. I know I have several readers who struggle with infertility and others with miracle baby stories. Be sure to show your support Lovelies, it takes a lot to share an infertility story.



"I’m so excited to be a guest blogger!! It’s only like my second biggest dream come true. If you like what you read, and want to be my new bestest friend you can check me out at Savor the Moment.

My name is Ashlee and I like to party. But really- I’m a 23 year old kindergarten teacher who is madly
in love with her husband. We’ve been married for 14 months and it has rocked. My husband is the most wonderful guy I know. We compliment each other like peanut butter and jelly, chocolate and peanut butter and Oreos and milk. We’re awesome like that. The only hiccup in our perfect fairytale is that I can’t seem to get pregnant.

We’ve been “trying” for over a year, so medically speaking we’re deemed infertile. I’ve had pretty wacky cycles and since we’ve been married I’ve only had 2 visits from Aunt Flo. Currently, she’s here and has been here for 31 days. I think she’s making up for lost time. But anyways, enough about that. The bottom line is, we want to be parents and we’re not. Plain and simple.

In about 4 weeks I’ll be able to head back to the doctor and hopefully, fingers crossed, get a diagnoses and start on some fertility meds. *fingers crossed*

When I planned out my future I had in no way planned on needing assistance to get pregnant, but
deep down inside I think I’ve known for a really long time that it will take me longer than most.

And I hate it.

Infertility is the single most frustrating experience I’ve ever dealt with. Pregnancy is apart of every day
lives. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see a pregnant woman, a baby, or a child. Every day is a constant reminder of the things that I don’t have. It’s a slap in the face to see women who take their kids for granted when I know of at least 10 wonderful women, Mrs. S included, that would give anything to be a mommy.

Infertility has challenged by faith, but has yet to break it. If anything it’s given me a greater appreciation for my Heavenly Father and the sacrifice that He made when Jesus Christ was sent to atone for our sins. I ache for a child, I can’t even imagine how He would feel to do what he did. He understands. He totally understands the feelings and the heartache I go through every single day. I find that comforting. Having faith in God also means having faith in His timing.

I know I’ll be a mommy, I just don’t know when. It’s hard to see all of my friends and family getting
pregnant, becoming mommies, and living the life that I wish I had.

But, I’ve realized that I can’t live like that. I have to take life one day at a time, savor every single moment of every single day until my dreams come true. I can’t wallow and envy every single mommy that I see. It’s a little creepy, and I don’t want to be that girl.

My Heavenly Father knows that I want to be a mommy. I know that I want to be a mommy. My husband knows that I want to be a mommy. I don’t need to sit around crying all day so that other people can see how sad I am that I don’t have a baby. So, since I’m no longer in charge of making that happen I will be happy and live my life until that beautiful day comes.

Infertility will not control my life. I won’t let it. Will you?"

Ten Great Things About Being a Military Wife

Hey Lovelies! Here is another fabulous guest post from the beautiful (and new mommy) Kathryn from Singing Through the Rain. I know a lot of readers aren't military but here's a little bit about why Kathryn (and so many of us other military spouses) love being a military wife! Be sure to head to her blog too. She's wonderful :)

"Hi Ladies, Mrs. S. was nice enough to allow me guest post on her blog today. She is such a sweetheart! I gave her a post I did for a military wife blog carnival on wivesoffaith.org. We were asked to list 10 great things about being a military wife. I really like this because I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in the woes of deployment and other military life stresses, that we don't think about the good that comes from military life as well! So without further ado here are my top 10:
 
1. Having support from other wives going through the same thing you are.I have met so many wonderful military ladies both online and in person, and I love all the support groups I have found as well. It is a big help to be able to go through things like deployment, and PCSing and know that someone else understands!

2. Stability (knowing my husband is not going to lose his job, and always getting a pay check).I know the military isn't always stable as far as where you might have to move to, or what your husband does, but I do like that we do not have to worry about him getting fired, and that we get a paycheck no matter what. It helps me worry less!

3. Being patriotic and proudI know that you do not have to be a military wife to be patriotic and proud, but becoming a military wife has made so much more in tune to what people have done for our country past and present. It is an amazing thing!

4. Seeing my man in uniform!This is one of my favorites! What girl doesn't like a man in uniform? Here is my favorite picture of my man in his blues on our wedding day!



5. Benefits (shopping at the BX & commissary, discounts, housing, etc.)I love the benefits we get from being military. I love shopping at the commissary and BX and saving money, I like being able to use the super-nice gym they have here on our base,  and I like that some places offer discounts to military families as well. Also, if my husband ends up staying in the Air Force 20 years like he plans, then we will also get the benefits that come with that!

6. Learning and growingI like the learning and growing that I have done since my husband has joined the Air Force. If you read my post here about being a military wife, you will know that it has been quite a journey for me. I have learned so much, and grown so much, and I am thankful for all that it has taught me. I know there are many more years to come of learning and growing.

7. Meeting lots of new friends You cannot beat the wonderful friends you make each time you move. Yes, eventually you will have to move away from them, but hopefully these friends are for life, and have helped you somehow along the way. I am so grateful for the few good friends God has brought into my life since being stationed here, it really amazes me!

8. Traveling You cannot forget travel, because this is something that goes with the military hand-in-hand! Whether you are PCSing around the world, or moving across the states, the traveling definitely makes things interesting and keeps you on your toes! What better way to see the world and other places you might not have been to?

9. Almost full health care coverage I will not go into what I think of the doctors that are under the health care for the military, but I will say that our insurance coverage is really great. There have been several things that have happened that I know we would have never been able to afford to pay for without the coverage of Tricare. It pays for almost anything. I had my baby a few months ago, and it was nice to know that Tricare covered the entire cost! Thank God for great coverage, or otherwise we would have had to wait a long time to have a baby!

10. Homecomings Last, but not least, are homecomings. Yes, it is sad when our husbands have to leave, but when he comes home what a great thing to be excited and happy about! It's the thing you look forward to most, that keeps you going through the night, and gets you to the next day.

What are some things you  like about being a military wife?"

Sacrifice

I was so happy and excited when Mrs. Doc Handsome from Hooyah from the Homefront said she would do a guest post for me. I just adore her blog. She has one of the prettiest little families I have ever seen. Her story touched me and tugged at my heart strings. Be sure to show her some blog lovin'.



"Sacrifice. Just one word that describes military families best. Our service member sacrifices time with us and family, they sacrifice their physical and emotional well being, and they sacrifice memories that are created while away. As the one left behind, we sacrifice the same things along with a few others. We sacrifice the satisfaction of our dreams and goals being put on hold, we sacrifice a partnership in parenting temporarily, we sacrifice basic events like births, honeymoons, and anniversaries. Certainly, our children sacrifice more than anyone. While a child never agreed to the lifestyle, they are still thrust into the military world. I’ve often pondered what if my child asks where he’s from; what is he supposed to say? “Ummm, we move around every two years. America is where I’m from.” Point is, sacrifice is a big deal for us.

The day I was told about my husband’s deployment was an ordinary one. We were having car problems so he had drove me to work. All day, our conversations were short. No fluffy “mushy love” talk. In fact, if there wasn’t a reason to text, we didn’t. I really hadn’t thought twice about it until I jumped in the truck with him after work was finished. There was just a feeling in the air. Nothing too uncomfortable, but different. It was one of those feelings I tried to pass off as my husband being tired and exhausted from work himself. I started babbling the second we were together. He was silent for the most part. I remember this moment like it was yesterday. We drove down the grade on the freeway into our city. He looked at me and grabbed my hand. I yanked back my arm asking what was going on as a million and one things started running through my mind in those excruciatingly long four seconds. “My NOSC called me today to say I’m being mobilized.” I knew what that meant but my mind didn’t want to comprehend the information. “What do you mean? What does that mean? They can’t take you. You’re a reservist. It’s too soon. Where are you going? When are you going? Can I come too?” Apparently, it happened just like it does in the movies. He got the phone call where they simply said, “Your number has been called.” He was leaving in two months to the Middle East. This was not happening. I always knew a day like this would come. But sure, maybe I was in denial. It doesn’t really hit you until it well…hits you. Smack in the face.

That evening, we went home and let our families and friends know. It was late by this time and although his parents were already sleeping, we decided it would be best to call them. They would want to know as soon as possible. My husband started by telling them he need to give them some unexpected information. His mom, dad, and sister were all on the phone. Right away, his sister blurted out, “You guys are pregnant right?!” After telling them no, he explained that he was being deployed. His mom and sister cried and the reactions from them all were pretty hard to handle. It was mixed with hurt, resentment, and sadness for their son. We just laid together all night realizing we were about to go through the next step of our marriage. Little did we know what was in store for us.

I went to work the next day feeling defeated and heartbroken. I felt physically ill all day and I had a few cramping feelings but nothing painful. I still decided to take a pregnancy test that day after work. Neither of us worried about it too much since I’m notorious for being a worry wart. I can’t count the number of times we’ve been to the store to buy a pregnancy test because I just wanted to make sure. Even when there was absolutely no way it could be true. We headed to the NEX (Navy Exchange) and bought two First Response tests. I went to the bathroom when we got home and waited the three minutes. As I walked into the room to check I said the first words that came to mind, “Are you $#*^$*% joking me?!” My husband knew what that meant. We cried. And then realized we were going to be parents. The excitement expecting parents feel was overshadowed by the looming deployment. We knew this wasn’t going to be the fairytale pregnancy and birth. We called his parents, awaking them from sleep yet again, and said we had one more thing we needed to tell them. “It’s what you guys thought it was yesterday.” “You’re pregnant?!?!?!?! Oh my gosh!?” There was a glimmer of hope. Although we, our families, and our friends were all thrilled, our hearts were still filled sadness. For the little baby who would miss his or her Daddy the first time his eyes saw this world.

And so we sacrificed. We sacrificed our huge dream vow renewal wedding and pushed the date up, just to have one before he deployed…just in case. I planned it in one month and it was as rushed as I thought it would be. We sacrificed sharing the moments the first time our baby kicked in the womb and the first listen of the heartbeat. We sacrificed every normal pregnancy experience. The day I was induced, I was able to have my husband on webcam, and even that failed the moment our son was born. He did hear the announcement, “We have a boy!” And lastly be sacrificed the first four months of a colicky newborn. There were times I begged God to give me strength as tears ran down my face while rocking a screaming beautiful baby in my arms. While I got to experience all of our child’s firsts, I had to remind myself, my husband was sacrificing so much more. He didn’t get to bond with our son in my tummy or hear his first cries. And our son, well he had to learn rather quickly who the strange man with his mommy all the time, was. And it’s for him that we have already figured out how we’ll explain to him why his Daddy missed his birth. “It was because you have a Daddy who stands tall and proud for our home country…”

We all end up sacrificing. It’s part of the job requirement we signed up for. While it’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves, we have to remember why we do it and that someone, somewhere else is always sacrificing more. Remember to be thankful for what we are sacrificing."

 Waiting patiently at the hospital for our son's arrival.

July Visitors!

I know this post has been a long time coming and I'm sorry. I just dread doing 'catch-up' posts but it is my own fault for being such a blog procrastinator. Here is just a small list of the stuff I/we got to do with Mr. Superman's sister K while she visited and with my BFF/Bestie Brighteyes while she was here :) Brighteyes flew in and overlapped a few hours before K had to leave.

-Chili's
-Despicable Me (I laughed my head off through the entire thing)
-Goodwill
-Glorious hours spent in Hobby Lobby
-Harry Potter
-Laughed like crazy
-Cooking (made chicken spaghetti casserole for the first time!)
-Baking (delicious banana chocolate chip monkey bread muffin stuff)
-Decorating and revamping stuff
-Crafting
-Jacksonville (twice!)
-The Crescent House (twice but I love that place)
-Driving adventures
-Sonic runs!
-Loads of pictures
-Laughed like crazy
-Had run ins with crazy super hybrid cockroaches that literally vanish in my house
-Making my incredible alfredo marinara and ravioli
-Watched When in Rome (Such a cheeseball movie)
-Watched Time Traveler's Wife (I bawled my eyes out [again])
-Went and saw Salt (seriously good movie!)
-Laughed like crazy!

Now, pictures galore!! (Not perfectly in order)

Skeleton keys!

Old fashioned "chaperone's couch" How awkward!

Add caption

Tackling Brighteyes at the Airport!

Outside my little house

Saying bye to big brother :/

He is my sea shell carrier

Yeah she's about 20 shades tanner than me :)

We were talking about how badly we have always wanted to find an entire whole perfect sand dollar and kid you not 2 minutes later Mr. Superman found this!