8.12.2010

Faith Through Infertility

Here is a great post from my friend Ashlee. We went to high school together and through fabulous Facebook and blogging, we have been able to reconnect and find a common (albeit sad) thread. We both can't have babies. She's a brand new teacher and I just love her! Be sure to show your blog love and go check her out at Savor the Moment. I know I have several readers who struggle with infertility and others with miracle baby stories. Be sure to show your support Lovelies, it takes a lot to share an infertility story.



"I’m so excited to be a guest blogger!! It’s only like my second biggest dream come true. If you like what you read, and want to be my new bestest friend you can check me out at Savor the Moment.

My name is Ashlee and I like to party. But really- I’m a 23 year old kindergarten teacher who is madly
in love with her husband. We’ve been married for 14 months and it has rocked. My husband is the most wonderful guy I know. We compliment each other like peanut butter and jelly, chocolate and peanut butter and Oreos and milk. We’re awesome like that. The only hiccup in our perfect fairytale is that I can’t seem to get pregnant.

We’ve been “trying” for over a year, so medically speaking we’re deemed infertile. I’ve had pretty wacky cycles and since we’ve been married I’ve only had 2 visits from Aunt Flo. Currently, she’s here and has been here for 31 days. I think she’s making up for lost time. But anyways, enough about that. The bottom line is, we want to be parents and we’re not. Plain and simple.

In about 4 weeks I’ll be able to head back to the doctor and hopefully, fingers crossed, get a diagnoses and start on some fertility meds. *fingers crossed*

When I planned out my future I had in no way planned on needing assistance to get pregnant, but
deep down inside I think I’ve known for a really long time that it will take me longer than most.

And I hate it.

Infertility is the single most frustrating experience I’ve ever dealt with. Pregnancy is apart of every day
lives. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see a pregnant woman, a baby, or a child. Every day is a constant reminder of the things that I don’t have. It’s a slap in the face to see women who take their kids for granted when I know of at least 10 wonderful women, Mrs. S included, that would give anything to be a mommy.

Infertility has challenged by faith, but has yet to break it. If anything it’s given me a greater appreciation for my Heavenly Father and the sacrifice that He made when Jesus Christ was sent to atone for our sins. I ache for a child, I can’t even imagine how He would feel to do what he did. He understands. He totally understands the feelings and the heartache I go through every single day. I find that comforting. Having faith in God also means having faith in His timing.

I know I’ll be a mommy, I just don’t know when. It’s hard to see all of my friends and family getting
pregnant, becoming mommies, and living the life that I wish I had.

But, I’ve realized that I can’t live like that. I have to take life one day at a time, savor every single moment of every single day until my dreams come true. I can’t wallow and envy every single mommy that I see. It’s a little creepy, and I don’t want to be that girl.

My Heavenly Father knows that I want to be a mommy. I know that I want to be a mommy. My husband knows that I want to be a mommy. I don’t need to sit around crying all day so that other people can see how sad I am that I don’t have a baby. So, since I’m no longer in charge of making that happen I will be happy and live my life until that beautiful day comes.

Infertility will not control my life. I won’t let it. Will you?"


13 comments:

Steph said...

Uggghh... I think I'm in somewhat of infertility denial.

Jen said...

I am soo glad I read this! :) Infertility is hard but we can't let it control us. Thank you for posting this!

Carmen said...

I am very happy to be the first to comment! I absolutely loved hearing your story. Although I have not tried for a child yet, I have that same feeling that it is going to take me a long time to get pregnant. I've had 4 surgeries to keep my ovaries fertile. Cysts completely destroyed my cycle and made me miserable. My doctors have told me that I will need yet another surgery in order for me to be able to become pregnant. I have too much scar tissue and it would cause a lot of problems not only to become pregnant but if I did become pregnant, I would be a high risk. Your story inspires me to keep trudging and to not let anything get me down and that anything is possible. I wish you all the best with everything and I will pray for you as I do for Mrs. S. Keep your head up and keep up your positive attitude. I admire you and thank you very much for sharing your story. =)

L.C. said...

Such a positive outlook :) LOVE it! Love you both and when the time is right you both will make fabulous moms!

annoyed army wife said...

I LOVE you already! I'm so glad you're guest blogging. I'm headed over to follow you! Good pick, Mrs. S!

JG said...

What a beautiful post! Miracles still happen every day. And lots of women in the Bible had to wait a LONG time to become mothers, and they were the more blessed for it.

Meridith Burke said...

Awesome post. Where as I have two children I feel for every person out there that can not have kids. Some people say I cant understand but I do because I coudlnt imagine my life without my kids. I feel guilty almost for being able to have kids any given time I choose. As soon as my husband and I both decided we are done having kids I plan to be a surrogate for a family friend and would probably do it for anyone. Keep your heads up. God would never give you anything you couldn't handle. I say that quote daily. :)

Jessica said...

Wow, what a powerful story. I've been told as well that it will be difficult for me to get pregnant. I was diagnosed with PCOS, but I'm still 'iffy' on the diagnosis. For the past five months, I have been visited by Aunt Flo. She doesn't come on time, but at least she visits every month.

It sucks seeing everybody pregnant or just having a baby when it's something that you want so bad. My husband and I are taking it one day at a time, and when it happens, we will be overjoyed!

Thanks again for sharing your story!

Jessica said...

Wow, what a powerful story. I've been told as well that it will be difficult for me to get pregnant. I was diagnosed with PCOS, but I'm still 'iffy' on the diagnosis. For the past five months, I have been visited by Aunt Flo. She doesn't come on time, but at least she visits every month.

It sucks seeing everybody pregnant or just having a baby when it's something that you want so bad. My husband and I are taking it one day at a time, and when it happens, we will be overjoyed!

Thanks again for sharing your story!

Jessica said...

Wow, what a powerful story. I've been told as well that it will be difficult for me to get pregnant. I was diagnosed with PCOS, but I'm still 'iffy' on the diagnosis. For the past five months, I have been visited by Aunt Flo. She doesn't come on time, but at least she visits every month.

It sucks seeing everybody pregnant or just having a baby when it's something that you want so bad. My husband and I are taking it one day at a time, and when it happens, we will be overjoyed!

Thanks again for sharing your story!

Amber said...

What a great and inspiring post. I know so many women who struggle with being able to become pregnant and it truly does control their every thought and action. It overwhelms them. Ashlee is absolutely correct, you just need to place your faith in Christ that He will provide for your family in only ways that He can. Thanks for sharing so openly & honestly!

starberri321 said...

My love!! I didn't know you had a blog, and if you do, send it to me on my blog and I will read yours too, totally miss you girlfriend. I had no idea that you were having a hard time getting pregnant also. It took us 10 months, and were just about to start on fertility pills, but were lucky enough to finally get preggo. But you're absolutely right, the time will come. My cousin tried for 5 years, and just got her baby 6 weeks ago through adoption, and it's the most beautiful story, that baby was born for them. I sure love you! I love both of you! My girlfriend who lives in cali had many problems with her ovaries and tried for a LONG time trying to get preggo and finally got preggo when she saw a doctor here in az, I can get you the info if you are interested. Let me know. Love you both! I hope you're doing good. you look awesome! Hit me up on my blog!

Kelly and Sara said...

I love that you guys reconnected! Good luck fabulous ladies xoxo