Its not because I was bitter growing up without a boyfriend
or because I hate chocolates and lovey dovey crap.
Truth is I wasn't bitter growing up,
at least not about lack of boyfriends and
I most certainly do not hate chocolates or lovey dovey crap.
Last year, I participated in the amazing Riding The Roller Coaster's Valentine's Day Blog Swap and wrote all about how I feel about this day on Mrs. Muffins blog and also shared this little gem. I thought I'd re-share what I wrote then and adapted for this year, because it still applies.
When contemplating what kind of Valentine’s themed post I’d be writing up, I continued to draw blanks over and over and over again. I’m one of those girls, who growing up, only cared about getting the candy and the one or two Looney Toons or Batman Valentine’s cards from her crushes. All the others would get the candy or stickers detached from them and the valentine itself would get chucked in the garbage bin. I was the girl who woke up to find a cute pink cup with hearts on it, stuffed to the brim with message candy hearts and a card from my parents, every year.
I was also the girl, who as she got older, started to care less and less about Valentine’s Day because it was so over saturated and completely commercialized. Not to mention that when I was dating age and had boyfriend’s, I got flowers and gifts all the time so Valentine’s Day just wasn’t anything too special.
Now that I’m a married woman, and have been for a few years, nothing much has changed. Mr. Superman and I have been together for over five years and I can honestly say that I don’t remember much of our Valentine’s Day’s as a couple. In fact, last Friday as he was getting himself all ABU'ed up to go to work, we had this conversation.
Him: I still don't know what to get you for Valentine's Day.
Me: I told you, I don't need anything. If you insist, just get me some macaroons. Actually never mind, I can't have macaroons, order me some AS chalk paint. I want to paint the antique vanity with it.
Him: Alright, get me prices.
Me: Ok. Its not like you're going to be here anyways. You'll be on 14 hour shifts that whole week.
Him: Sorry about that, maybe you'll get lucky and I'll take you on a date that weekend.
Me: If its a choice between the date and the AS chalk paint, I'll take the chalk paint.
Him: I don't even remember any of our Valentine's Days. Well, I remember that one where I surprised you and came home early.
Me: Yeah we were dating then. You drove down from school to surprise me but after we had dinner, we ended up babysitting your sisters all night.
Him: I think I purposely blocked that part out. The next year...
Me: We were married and--
Me: And the next year we were in Utah and--
Him: Super broke.
Me: And both of us had just gotten laid off.
Him: The next year we were poor but not broke.
Me: Yeah that was our first year in Georgia and last year you were gone.
Him: And we were still poor, just from 8,000 miles apart.
Me: And this year... We're still poor and won't see each other.
Me: You know, we don't really do Valentine's Day very well but we sure know how to do "poor".
Him: And "broke". Sorry but we have at least 3 more years of poor.
Me: Please, you know I don't care at all. Just get me some paint or a new Dremel attachment and I'm happy.
He and I do a pretty good job the rest of the year, showing our love for each other and spoiling one another with the occasional gift, night out, and unexpected surprises. Last year, I sent him a box to Afghan Land full of cards he could open when he "Needed a Hug", "Wanted a Laugh", was "Missing Me Most", and when he had "Had a Rough Day." The box also had conversation hearts because he loves them along with Bottle Caps, Hershey’s Cookies & Cream Hugs, and a slew of other really bad for him goodies. For his part, I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers, some body wash, bubble bath, bath salts, and chocolates.
If he hadn’t been deployed and if I hadn’t been living in Arizona away from our military life in Georgia, none of this would have taken place because to us, its unnecessary. We love each other mucho mucho, there’s no doubt, but we also both know that our money can be better spent and for us, we don’t need a specific day to spoil each other or say, "I love you" a million and one times. We do that every other day of the year.
We definitely plan on doing as my parents did and making it a day of "show your love and appreciation to those around you" and probably give our kids some treats, but other than that, it’ll be just another day in the Superman household.
When I hear people stressing out about whether or not their significant other is going to get them this or send them that, I chuckle and shake my head. When I read on Facebook about how someone loathes this day of love because they have ‘nobody special’, I think its a shame. For me, its just another day and investing so much time, energy, and emotion into it seems a little ludicrous but more power to anyone who thinks otherwise.
For us, its not "Happy Valentine’s Day!" its, "Valentine’s Schmalentine’s, I love you enough every other day of the year. We don’t need images of a short, fat, winged man in a toga carrying a bow and heart shaped arrows to remind us of what we mean to one another."
I'm still waiting on that AS chalk paint Lovelies and as for Mr. Superman... I got him new running shoes two weeks ago. It was more of a "You need running shoes so let's get them and they'll be your Valentine's gift" thing more than anything else so there you have it.
What about you Lovelies, how do you feel about Valentine's Day? Do you go all out or just ignore it?