2.14.2012

Happy Hearts Day!

I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day.
Its not because I was bitter growing up without a boyfriend
or because I hate chocolates and lovey dovey crap.
Truth is I wasn't bitter growing up,
at least not about lack of boyfriends and
I most certainly do not hate chocolates or lovey dovey crap.

Last year, I participated in the amazing Riding The Roller Coaster's Valentine's Day Blog Swap and wrote all about how I feel about this day on Mrs. Muffins blog and also shared this little gem. I thought I'd re-share what I wrote then and adapted for this year, because it still applies.

When contemplating what kind of Valentine’s themed post I’d be writing up, I continued to draw blanks over and over and over again. I’m one of those girls, who growing up, only cared about getting the candy and the one or two Looney Toons or Batman Valentine’s cards from her crushes. All the others would get the candy or stickers detached from them and the valentine itself would get chucked in the garbage bin. I was the girl who woke up to find a cute pink cup with hearts on it, stuffed to the brim with message candy hearts and a card from my parents, every year. 

I was also the girl, who as she got older, started to care less and less about Valentine’s Day because it was so over saturated and completely commercialized. Not to mention that when I was dating age and had boyfriend’s, I got flowers and gifts all the time so Valentine’s Day just wasn’t anything too special.

Now that I’m a married woman, and have been for a few years, nothing much has changed. Mr. Superman and I have been together for over five years and I can honestly say that I don’t remember much of our Valentine’s Day’s as a couple. In fact, last Friday as he was getting himself all ABU'ed up to go to work, we had this conversation.

Him: I still don't know what to get you for Valentine's Day.
Me: I told you, I don't need anything. If you insist, just get me some macaroons. Actually never mind, I can't have macaroons, order me some AS chalk paint. I want to paint the antique vanity with it.
Him: Alright, get me prices.
Me: Ok. Its not like you're going to be here anyways. You'll be on 14 hour shifts that whole week.
Him: Sorry about that, maybe you'll get lucky and I'll take you on a date that weekend.
Me: If its a choice between the date and the AS chalk paint, I'll take the chalk paint.
Him: I don't even remember any of our Valentine's Days. Well, I remember that one where I surprised you and came home early.
Me: Yeah we were dating then. You drove down from school to surprise me but after we had dinner, we ended up babysitting your sisters all night.
Him: I think I purposely blocked that part out. The next year...
Me: We were married and--
Him: Broke.
Me: And the next year we were in Utah and--
Him: Super broke.
Me: And both of us had just gotten laid off.
Him: The next year we were poor but not broke.
Me: Yeah that was our first year in Georgia and last year you were gone.
Him: And we were still poor, just from 8,000 miles apart.
Me: And this year... We're still poor and won't see each other.

SILENCE

Me: You know, we don't really do Valentine's Day very well but we sure know how to do "poor".
Him: And "broke". Sorry but we have at least 3 more years of poor.
Me: Please, you know I don't care at all. Just get me some paint or a new Dremel attachment and I'm happy.

He and I do a pretty good job the rest of the year, showing our love for each other and spoiling one another with the occasional gift, night out, and unexpected surprises. Last year, I sent him a box to Afghan Land full of cards he could open when he "Needed a Hug", "Wanted a Laugh", was "Missing Me Most", and when he had "Had a Rough Day." The box also had conversation hearts because he loves them along with Bottle Caps, Hershey’s Cookies & Cream Hugs, and a slew of other really bad for him goodies. For his part, I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers, some body wash, bubble bath, bath salts, and chocolates.

If he hadn’t been deployed and if I hadn’t been living in Arizona away from our military life in Georgia, none of this would have taken place because to us, its unnecessary. We love each other mucho mucho, there’s no doubt, but we also both know that our money can be better spent and for us, we don’t need a specific day to spoil each other or say, "I love you" a million and one times. We do that every other day of the year. 

We definitely plan on doing as my parents did and making it a day of "show your love and appreciation to those around you" and probably give our kids some treats, but other than that, it’ll be just another day in the Superman household.  

When I hear people stressing out about whether or not their significant other is going to get them this or send them that, I chuckle and shake my head. When I read on Facebook about how someone loathes this day of love because they have ‘nobody special’, I think its a shame. For me, its just another day and investing so much time, energy, and emotion into it seems a little ludicrous but more power to anyone who thinks otherwise. 

For us, its not "Happy Valentine’s Day!" its, "Valentine’s Schmalentine’s, I love you enough every other day of the year. We don’t need images of a short, fat, winged man in a toga carrying a bow and heart shaped arrows to remind us of what we mean to one another."


I'm still waiting on that AS chalk paint Lovelies and as for Mr. Superman... I got him new running shoes two weeks ago. It was more of a "You need running shoes so let's get them and they'll be your Valentine's gift" thing more than anything else so there you have it.


What about you Lovelies, how do you feel about Valentine's Day? Do you go all out or just ignore it?

7 comments:

The Grandy's said...

Valentines Day sucks but that card is rad. I'm going to print it out for every holiday. "I want to wish you a Happy Boxing Day" or "Happy Abraham Lincolns Birthday Day" and then the rest.

In your case, I think you should celebrate National Organ Donor Day. It's on the 14th as well but always gets over shadowed by V Day. Which is stupid because you are literally celebrating saving someones life. Valentines day just makes people want to off themselves.

Choose life. Celebrate National Organ Donor Day instead.

Angie said...

I hate Valentine's Day. I usually just ignore it since I try to show my love for people year round. I have a friend who loves this day, and cries when she doesn't get a dozen red roses at work for everyone to see. I told my husband if he really wants to do something for me on this day, he can bring me tacos and I will definitely love him forever. :)

Mel said...

Could not agree more!

Happy (regular ol') Tuesday!

Jen said...

We did a very low key valentines day (over the weekend) grilling and watching a movie. Happy Valentine's Day!

Team Mama said...

We never made a big fuss about it. I always got everyone a card and some valentine treats. Sometimes I would do a Valentine dinner (everything red). Mostly Matt was traveling or out of town so mostly it was just me and my 4 sweet kiddos! So Cody didn't really have a big romantic example to follow when it came to Valentine's Day. Sorry! =}

Amanda said...

I generally like Valentine's Day.. but I found myself getting unnecessarily upset about it this year. Hubby is deployed and he forgot about it. I'm just a card girl, and if you wake me up to a Happy Valentine's kiss and give me a card I'm good to go. More or less it's acknowledging the day that makes it feel special to me... otherwise I can do without gifts and dinner and all that blah. This year I'm just not feeling it. (For obvious reasons..)

The New "Normal" said...

I completely agree. I could care less about the day because I hate to put expectations on a specified day and then be disappointed. Why bother? We are pretty darn good at showing each other how much we love and care for each other every other day of the year anyway, so this one day is kind of unnecessary in our minds. Although we do get something special (but little) for the kids. They get enough candy at school! My hubby did get me an early "gift" I guess - he got me running shoes too! Best gift ever in my mind!