Waiting for it to all come together... Anytime now, really.

Well, for starters, for those of you who are a bit behind the times, I do not have a job. I had been working for a great family and then the economy hit them like it hit everyone else and they had to let me go. A nanny is a luxury, not a mandatory, vital part of life. I was sad but I got hired on to the University of Phoenix. It really was a blessing but after I began working there I realized that the majority of the stuff that I had been told, the stuff that made me want to work there, was more or less a big fat lie. A ruse to get me to accept the position. Magical words to get me suckered into something I wouldn't have even glanced twice at had I known the truth. Anyways, I was planning on sticking it out for at least six months to see if I could get a promotion or move to a different department.

The last straw really came when Mr. Superman and I got the call about Grandpa. I had actually been at home with a HORRIBLE flu bug when he came home and told me what had happened. So after packing, making phone calls, and beginning our drive to Utah I FINALLY got a call back from my guy Brian that managed my file at the temp agency I was hired through. He offered me his condolences then proceeded to say and I quote, "I just got off the phone with the head of HR and he told me to pass along to you that since you are new and still on contract hire you do not get bereavement time. If you are not at work tomorrow they will be forced to terminate you." Silence, (in my head I'm screaming four letter words). "Brian, don't worry about it." "So you'll be there?" "No, I guess I resign." A great little additive to our trip right? Well to be completely honest I didn't think about it much. It really was the least of our worries.

At the risk of sounding full of myself I will have to say that I consider myself pretty well qualified for a range of different jobs and positions. I have been a nanny and I am damn good at that. I can type fast, am extremely organized (talking OCD here), self starter, punctual, fast learner, all that jazz. I am a great people person, patient... blah blah blah etc. I CANNOT FIND A JOB! It is absolutely ridiculous. I send out my resume to a MINIMUM ten new places every day. And believe it or not I am not being picky in the slightest bit. I am applying for any and all nanny, secretary, personal assistant, customer service, receptionist positions I can find. Ranging from part time to full time and from 8 dollars an hour to 35,000 a year. It's so frustrating to not even hear back from anywhere. Really, it's giving me a complex. The fact that we got this scholarship can't be coming at a better time especially since no one wants me.

I just keep questioning and praying and thinking and questioning and praying and thinking over and over and over again and nothings happening. A big fat nothing. It's not just the job thing. A few of you may know what I am referring to when I say its discouraging to me that I am doing all that I can and more and nothing is happening. January was a REALLY rough month and I really don't ever want to go through that again. I can't help but feel like a complete failure and when I get down about it, Mr. Superman gets down about it and then we both have a couple down days, pray, get our resolve back for a while and then the cycle repeats. I know that this particular weakness is definitely something Satan feeds off of. He knows how much it affects me and He then uses it against me in other areas of my life and relationships. I know this and yet when I'm feeling down I tend to forget that I know that and I get nowhere.

I was thinking today about everything. I mean everything going on in our lives from the very tiniest most minuscule details to the big ones like us making a HUGE move.

I do appreciate all of the love and support we get from our family and friends. It helps more than you know. I promise to have a more upbeat post next time!!

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