4.01.2011

TTC With The Annoyed Army Wife

Lovelies! Here we are again with another fabulous line up of guest bloggers to entertain you all while I am busy cleaning our new house from top to bottom, grocery shopping, and all of the ever-important mani/pedi, spray tan, waxing, and hair appointments in preparation for the big HOMECOMING!! I am so glad I have all of these wonderful Lovelies stepping in for me so I can focus on the important things not to mention so I can be sure to take breathers in between my anxiety attacks. So please be sure to show all of my wonderful Lovelies lots of love because they deserve it. Today I have the incredibly charming Annoyed Army Wife. She cracks me up and I love her sarcastic, blunt, snarky posts because she's just like me. Michelle just welcomed her own hubby so a big fatty congrats to her too!
I’ve been following Mrs. S. for quite awhile now, I’ve checked out her pages, which I highly recommend you do.  One of the first posts I read by Mrs. S. was a guest post she did on Flip Flops & Combat Boots.  I cried.  I didn’t comment because I was such a newbie blogger at the time, but I sat down and cried for a woman I didn’t even know.  I started following Mrs. S's blog that day.  I highly recommend you read By November if you haven’t yet. 
Some of you may know me as the annoyed army wife.  If all goes well I should be reuniting with my deployed husband, OccDoc, right about now.  He’s been deployed in Afghanistan working as a battalion surgeon for about 7 months now.  I had the great pleasure of meeting Mrs. S. in real life, and we totally bonded over some fabulous cupcakes.  Mrs. S. wanted me to write something funny and sarcastic about infertility; I kind of missed the mark, but I hope you enjoy my rant, nonetheless.
OccDoc and I have been trying really, really hard to get pregnant for awhile now.  We aren’t one of those couples who are just not not trying, we are actively trying.  We hit our one year TTC (Trying to Conceive) anniversary 4 days before he deployed.  I was hoping for a miracle and a BFP (big fat positive) after he left, but Aunt Flo arrived and my hopes were dashed.  Cue massive amounts of wine drinking and mounds of soggy Kleenexes.  We’ve been on a seven month ‘break’ from TTC, um, considering we’re on separate continents.  We’re planning to just ‘relax’ for about 3 months once he’s back, then we’ll head off to the doctor for some fertility/infertility workups. 
Shortly after we got married (the second time) we told our family and friends we were waiting until OccDoc was out of the Army to have a family, he’s so not a lifer.  After crunching some numbers and realizing we weren’t getting any younger (who knew?) we decided to start actively trying after I graduated from massage school.  Girls at my school were getting knocked up right and left, so I assumed we’d have no problem.  Yeah, you know what happens when you assume.
Here we are 18 months later and our stupid home office is still just a stupid home office instead of a nursery.  Hopefully by the time this post goes live I will have reunited with OccDoc and we’ll be busy gettin’ busy, if you know what I mean.  Ha ha!  Of course TTC always makes hearing the news that a friend, a family member, another blogger, or some random drug addict on the street is pregnant pretty hard to take.  I want to be happy for them, and I genuinely am happy for them, but at the same time I wonder why they got to be so lucky and I’m just getting screwed (pun intended).  I read on a blog one time that I shouldn’t be upset when I hear the “So and So’s Pregnant!” news because that ‘pregnant woman didn’t take the last baby off the shelf,’ but it still stings. Even though I smile and say ‘Congrats’ I’m crying on the inside. 
One of the hidden treasures of this deployment is that people have finally stopped asking if OccDoc and I are trying to have a baby.  Could you please twist the knife a bit more with your questions?  Do you know how much that questions rips through the heart and soul of someone TTC?  Do you know how much someone TTC wants to bitchslap you when you tell them to ‘relax’?  I’m a massage therapist who meditates twice a day and gets weekly massage for crap’s sake, you can’t get much more relaxed than that.  So, Eff Off and YOU go relax.  I hope you all have a lovely day, and I thank Mrs. S. for hosting me today, now I’ve gotta run and see if I’m ovulating…

12 comments:

AF wifey said...

I loved this post!! I know how the annoyed Army Wife is feeling!!
And all I have to say is WOW {with a couple tears} about "By
November" by Mrs. S. My heart goes out to you both!

annoyed army wife said...

Thanks for letting me be snarky and post this on your blog, Mrs. S! It must have been a heavy hormone day when I wrote that - yikes! :) I can't wait to hear about homecoming for you two loverfaces!!!

Nicky said...

I agree on the "Wow" about reading "By November. What a poignant post by Mrs S. So sad, and yet so full of hope. I'll be keeping fingers and toes crossed (it's scientifically proven to help, hehe!) for your TTC venture now that OccDoc is home.

Allie said...

I love the levels of emotion and snarkieness in this post, it is a very good balance. Thank you for sharing your story a little more with us.

And I remember the By November post and it broke my heart.

chambanachik said...

Great post. And the awesome thing about when you do have that gorgeous, sweet baby, they will feel so wanted and so hoped for. It's pretty awesome for a kid to know how desperately they were wanted before they were even born.

Samantha said...

I love Annoyed and I love you! In a blogger stalker kind of way. ;)

♥ Elizabeth said...

I love both of you so much! TTC is one hard journey, especially when EVERYONE is pregnant! Welcome home to both of your hubbies and have fun :D

*Jenn* said...

I love this post! Its so nice to know that I'm not the ONLY girl who doesn't have kids! I get so tired of people asking when were having a baby. It breaks my heart everytime I have to come up with sone lame answer about how we enjoy life without kids. Thanks for being so open and honest! It's very helpful to girl like me.

Lindsey said...

I really love this post cause I couldn't have said it better myself. I was introduced to Mrs. S through another lovely blogger because her and I have been going through the same thing. Hearing that other women are going through it as well really helps me feel like I am not alone. My hubby and I have been TTC for 4 and a half years, and have hit some really rough bumps along the way. I have watched two of my sisters (one 7 years younger than me) get pregnant and have beautiful babies, and it feels like every time i turn around another friend is pregnant. And I get the same 'oh don't be so upset' from my family because none of them understand what I am going through, so connect with other women that do, it really helps when you really need it! Thanks so much for this post, both of you. I am an avid reader of both of your blogs so two in one is always a nice treat!

Stephanie said...

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Fertility issues just plain SUCK.

I'm also glad that your blog brought me to this post, which brought me to this blog. I was in tears reading "By November". I'm relatively new to blogs in general, so to find blogs by military wives having difficulties conceiving...I wouldn't wish this on ANYONE, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.

TTC is already just a whole lot of fun and giggles (sarcasm, just in case you didn't catch that)...when you add in another layer of difficulty with deployments and separations, it can so frustrating for military wives. My husband and I got pregnant, lost our baby and then he left for a six-month training. While we have had short visits with "good timing", we haven't had any luck yet. I sometimes get so frustrated at the way that time just slips by and we're no nearer to starting our family.

Sailor's Wife said...

This is such a common topic and I never get tired of it! We were blessed with 1 beautiful child, but we've been TTC for about 2 years now. If people don't struggle with it they just don't understand it. ((big hugs to you)) and good luck

Cat said...

Great post, and thanks for linking back to the "By November" post. I read it again, and realized that I had read it way back then, but since have had my own angel baby..it was so different reading it now.