Yep. That Sums It Up.


Yep that about sums it up.

My womb.
Gaping hole in our lives.
Giant parts of our hearts.
The extra room in every house we've lived in.
The backseat of our car.
Countless dreams, hopes, wishes, prayers.
They are all empty.

I am so sick of waiting.
I am sick of being let down.
I am sick of curling up next to my husband and talking in circles about "What if" and "If only"

I am heartbroken that we can't have the one and only thing we've wanted for nearly four years.

It tears me up when my husband tells me that he doesn't understand why.

That its not fair that we do everything we are supposed to and get nothing but heartbreak.

That even years from now when we are finally able to afford adoption, we will have to jump through so many hoops to prove ourselves.

It hurts me so bad to know how badly my husband wants to be a dad and we can't have that.

I am so sick of being empty.