In the past I have not edited anything to make things easy for someone else because this is MY blog. This is where I vent and journal and feel like I can be me without having to apologize. I have however, toned down the politics quite a bit and I try to be a little more mellow.
Lately, I have been getting numerous anonymous posters talking lots of shiznit about Mr. Superman, his being in the military, my talk of my infertility, and really negative and oft times derogatory comments. Most I don't publish and I don't dignify them with a response but what about you guys? What do you do?
I think that in my Answer post from the Q&A I will answer every question and comment I have gotten just so I can have piece of mind about these idiots. The way I see it is if you want to be a jerk and be completely negative, have the gumption and balls to do so without hiding. Really? You want to talk badly about me and about my life but you aren't brave enough to do it straight forward? Step up for real.
Alright now that that's out there, here is what's been weighing on my mind lately. Ha ha well more like weighing all over me. My weight. I have always been really self conscious and super self critical. Since meeting Mr. Superman, I've felt better about myself and my self perception has improved a bit. There have been a few times where I all of the sudden will gain weight without any changes in my diet or exercise. Usually when I notice, I'll up my activity level and I will drop back down to my normal weight. Now in the last year, I have had a few operations, went through something extremely personal that tore me apart, have moved 2,000 miles away, started school, and am trying desperately to balance life. A little stress weight is to be expected I think but this is insane.
I am at my ALL TIME HEAVIEST and it has been a huge downer for me. I thought it would be like every other time I lose weight. NEGATORY GOOD BUDDY. I have cut out soda, tried to have smaller portions, drink lots of water, and have worked out for at least an hour every day for the last 2.5 weeks. Guess what? I haven't even lost half a pound. Its getting under my skin so bad. There have been other times I thought I was chunky but I see pictures from then and I just wanna cry because I was so skinny and fit and had a great body. Needless to say I have had a major wake up call and once I get back to my healthy weight, I will be content. Once I am back to my healthy weight, I won't be saying I'm fat because I now realize I wasn't. I guess all I can do is keep working out everyday and pray it starts working soon 'cause 25 el bees is A LOT.
This is me now
This is what I want so desperately to be again.
(Mr. Superman taking a creeper shot)
Thanks for letting me whine a bit. You guys are the best. Happy Thursday! (The beginning of my weekend, yes Sweet Mary!!)
♥ Mrs. S.