Alright so I am terrified, I mean absolutely terrified of a few things. I hate cockroaches. The ones in AZ are nasty and gross and are all over for the bulk of the calender year. I have had two really traumatizing experiences with these nasty little things and I feel very justified in my loathing of them.
One was when I was 15 and I was at a party with friends. Huge party, we're talking massive house, easily two hundred people, tons of different things going on. One was on the side of the house they had set up a movie. I cannot for the life of me think of what that thing is called but its like the thing you can do slide shows or whatever. PROJECTOR SCREEN!! I got it. HAHA. Well they had a movie playing and everyone was just lying on blankets in the grass or sitting on a few couches they had out there. I was sharing a blanket with my good friend D and a few of her friends. Like 10 minutes into the movie and I feel a tickle on my chest. I scratched at it and continued to watch the movie. I kept feeling little tickles then all of the sudden I get this really sharp pain on my skin and it freaks me out enough that I screamed a little. Now people, you all know that my chest area is semi... for lack of a better term well-endowed. Its easy for things to get lost. Well I stick my hand down there and feel something big and crunchy and gross and I flick my hand out and there was, I kid you not, a 2 inch long massive gross cockroach!!! I nearly vomited.
Oh man I totally am giving myself the heebie jeebies. I won't share my second experience. It is real similar though. Use your imaginations.
I am also horribly frightened of bees. I have never been stung and I know the whole, "don't bug them they won't bug you." thing. Growing up we had hundreds if not thousands of bees living in the white stucco wall that enclosed our property. We had a pool and they would always swarm around the water. Everyone in my family I think has been stung except me. I am scared of them for a different reason. I nearly swallowed one. Yes you read right. I could be bosom buddies with
I managed this dangerous feat by being careless and lazy. I was maybe 8 years old and playing my best friend at the time G. Her grandma had been kind enough to let us have two Cokes. We were playing but had gone inside for a quick minute to get something or other and left our sodas unattended. I came outside and immediately went in for a swig of my delightful elixir and brusquely felt something fuzzy and so not coke like in my mouth. I spit and sputtered and coughed and to my utter amazement and horror there was a black a yellow bee crawling around disoriented on the sidewalk. EWIE I know. Hence no more Coke for me. Besides that incident I can't stand the taste.
And lastly (not the last thing I fear, just the last for this post) I am seriously and most vehemently so terrified and disturbed by praying mantis's. *GAGx100000000* I think they are the creepiest little things ever. Probably about 7 months ago at our house in AZ we had a garden. It was wildflower garden. All of my flowers died due to the sweltering 110 degree weather but I had also planted for Mr. Superman, Mammoth Sunflowers. These things were MASSIVE. They were nearly as tall as our house and the flower blossoms themselves were nearly as big our our heads. The stems were thicker and stronger than corn stalks and they managed to survive the nasty heat. Well we came home one evening from grocery shopping and were walking around the house to the front door when I nearly dropped my bags. There was the ugliest, creepiest thing I had ever seen.
This is what stopped me in my tracks. This Orchid Praying Mantis. How unfitting and inappropriate a name. Orchid. How about nasty ugly evil thing. Seriously people this heightened my terror. The red eyes make me feel like its evil and going to attack.
Bah. Not that I have thoroughly driven myself mad, its time to wake Mr. Superman up. Byyye!!
1 comment:
Rachelle you are so funny.
Aaron
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