I know its all ya'lls favorite thing ever. Pillow Talk!
I'm sure you all know about men and their fascination with breasts. Well mine (The Twins) are
Him: I'll get you a lift. Maybe when you're like 60 we'll get you a lift or implants and you can have the boobs of a 22 year old again. Only better. We'll get you helium implants so they can be huge but super lightweight. You'll never have to worry about them sagging because they'll float and be really perky. Better than Dolly Parton.
Me: But baby they'll pop! Helium balloons pop so easily. It'll be horrible because then they'll pop and I'll just have extra skin flapping around. It'll be super gnarly.
Him: No, no, no, no. It'll be like when you push on a balloon and it just kind of goes to the side.
Me: Whatever. This is ridiculous. I just want a real lift.
SILENCE. I ROLL OVER IN BED TO GO TO SLEEP.
Him: (Under his breath at this point) I wonder if I could make animal balloons out of them...